Oh Suzannah, Don't You Cry For Me
by AsgardainAvenger
Summary: World War Two was in full swing. A young girl wants to make a difference, and to bring her brother back. The only thing holding her back is the unfair discrimination against women. Even her brother, Bucky Barnes, won't let her enlist in the army. Maybe she is just like her older brother, stubborn and willing to sacrifice their lives for the greater good. (Violence and swearing)
1. Chapter 1

**If you don't know, in the comics Bucky is the oldest of four kids. I tried to look up their names, but I couldn't find anything. So, I decided to come up with my own characters to by Bucky's younger siblings. I wanted to write a story that is centered around a female character, so here goes! This is set during World War II and almost before Steve became Captain America, so warning for swearing and some violence.**

 **Chapter One: Missing in Action**

Suzannah Lily Barnes was a smaller version of her oldest brother, James (Bucky) Barnes. Suzannah, who went by Suzie, was seven years younger than Bucky but was still practically the same. They both had light blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. Although she was a few inches shorter, they shared the same body structure. Bucky and Suzie both had similar lips, face, and strong arms. They were both very good athletes and were willing to get into a fight to protect someone in danger. Suzie was stubborn and headstrong like Bucky, but they were also both caring and loyal.

Girls and women were supposed to be pretty and quiet. They were supposed to stay home and help with their children and the house. Suzie, on the other hand, was a tomboy at heart. She enjoyed playing in the dirt and playing sports. She could outrun and outsmart most of the boys in her grade. People were surprised to see a young girl act like that, but Suzie didn't care. She didn't want to be pretty; she just wanted to be treated equally to men. She looked up to her older brother and spoke out against any negative comments about her personality.

It was tough enough being a girl during the 1900s, but it was even worse when she was scolded for 'acting like a boy.' Suzie was the only girl and the second youngest in her family. Bucky was seven years older than her, while Travis was only one year older. Corbin, the baby of the family, was four years younger than her. Growing up with three brothers, it came to no surprise that Suzie preferred to hang out with them rather than making friends with other girls her age.

It was this reason that Suzie was standing alone on a train platform in downtown New York. She picked at her dress sleeve, the pink fabric scratching her skin. Her mother, Lacey Barnes, had forced her to wear a pink dress for church that morning. She hated the color pink, preferring to wear duller colors and trousers instead of dresses. Suzie wanted to go home and change directly afterward, but she found herself wandering down to the train station. She was a girl of twenty years old and attractive although most boys never pointed it out. In fact, she didn't want to be called pretty since the attention bothered her. That's why she had her brown hair cut to shoulder length and wore boyish clothes instead of the skirts and dresses that women typically wore during the 1940s.

Suzie scanned the platform. The train was busy being loaded. Mothers held onto screaming children, and older men who were unable to fight were struggling to get everyone on board.

World War II was in full swing. The Nazis were growing more powerful by the day, and the US Army and the Allies were looking for more recruits. Suzie stared at an Uncle Sam poster pointing at her and telling her to join the army.

Suzie scoffed and turned away. She was a girl, and girls were not allowed to join the army. Bucky had been recruited once America joined the war; he was in his late twenties when he received a letter from the army. Travis had wanted to join too, but since he broke his arm, he was unable to join. Corbin was still too young yet and he had autism (although no one at the time knew what was 'wrong' with him), so Bucky was the only one to follow in their father's footsteps. Henry, their father, was killed in action a few months after Corbin was born. Even Steve Rogers, Bucky's best friend, enlisted and was accepted despite his small stature and illnesses.

Suzie's mind wandered to her oldest brother. They had just gotten news that morning that Bucky and his team were captured by the Nazis and was being held captive. The US army couldn't risk sending a rescue team because of the high risk of danger. Suzie had no clue whether or not Bucky was alive, but she hoped upon hope that he was alive. There was just no way that Bucky was dead, especially if he was captured. He always said that if he was going to die, it was by going down fighting, not by being captured.

The weather was getting cold, so Suzie decided to head home. The walk from the train station to her home in Brooklyn wasn't that far, but it was long enough for her mind to continue wandering. She really didn't want to go home, since her mother was still upset about Bucky. Corbin was too busy doing whatever he thought was fun and Travis was probably hanging out with his rowdy group of friends.

Bucky. Damn him for getting captured. Suzie hated getting emotional, but she missed Bucky and Steve. She wished that Bucky was home, making jokes and teasing Steve, Travis, and Corbin. She wanted the war to be over. If only she could help...

A thought popped into Suzie's head. She brightened up at the idea and practically sprinted the rest of the way home.

As expected, her mother was home. Lacey had taken it upon herself to clean every nook and cranny in their house. It was the only way she could get her mind off of Bucky.

"Hello, mom," Suzie said and kissed her mother on the cheek.

"Oh, hello Suzie. Could you be a dear and make dinner?" Lacey asked. She was busy cleaning the bookshelf for the fifth time in the past few days.

Suzie sighed. "Yes, ma'am." She hated cooking, but she didn't want to argue with her mother. There was enough stress in the Barnes household.

She dashed upstairs to her bedroom. It was small since they didn't have much money, but at least she had a separate room to herself. Travis and Corbin shared a room down the hall. Bucky was lucky enough to get his own bedroom that he shared when Steve slept over.

Suzie changed out of her dress and into loose-fitting pants and a blue top. They were Bucky's old clothes when he was younger, but they fit her perfectly. She tossed her dress on her bed and went downstairs to the kitchen.

The kitchen was also small, with only a few cupboards and stove oven, A table made out of wood sat in the middle with six chairs around it. There used to be seven, but Lacey had gotten rid of the extra chair when Henry died. She said that it caused her too much grief to look at the empty chair whenever they ate. The sixth chair was for Steve since the Barnes' house was basically his second home.

Suzie sighed as she turned the stove on. There was hardly anything to eat. Lacey hadn't gone shopping in a while, so there were only a few potatoes, a loaf of bread, and a small turkey. Suzie decided to make soup for dinner; it was the only thing she could make without it burning.

Dinner was ready when Travis came home. The young man slammed the front door in his eagerness to eat.

"Hey, Suzie!" Travis said and poked his sister in the side. Travis was a few inches taller than her and a year older. His mop of reddish-brown curls covered his eyes. A cast covered his right arm where he broke it in a car accident a few weeks ago.

"Hi to you too," Suzie said. Travis smirked and lifted the lid on the pot of soup.

"Smells good. You didn't burn it this time," Travis remarked.

"Thanks," Suzie snapped back and smacked his hand away.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"Oh shut up! If you don't want another broken arm, then go get Corbin and leave me alone."

Travis whistled low under his breath. "Geez, looks like someone's upset."

"Yeah, so shoo!" Suzie aimed a kick at Travis' retreating backside. She missed, but Travis tripped over a chair in his attempts to dodge it. He landed with a hard 'thud' on the ground.

"Suzannah Lily Barnes!" Lacey shouted from the kitchen doorway, her hands on her hips.

Travis got up quickly and left before the two women started arguing. Lacey waited until Travis was upstairs and glared at Suzie.

"That is not how a young woman acts!"

"Mom! It was a joke! He was bothering me!" Suzie complained.

"And you should learn by now that women don't wear pants! Go upstairs and change! You are disrespecting your brother by wearing his clothes."

"How?! How am I disrespecting Bucky by wearing clothes that no longer fit him? He gave them to me!" Suzie couldn't stop her voice from rising. Lacey was a good woman and mother, but she was a firm believer in tradition and that men should be the ones to do all the hard work. Lacey grew up with no siblings and a strict mother so when she had Suzie she tried to teach her to grow up to be a nice, respectable woman. However, Suzie looked up to Bucky and practically copied everything he did, especially the rambunctious and wild side of him.

"You know what?" Lacey asked.

"What?" Suzie snapped back.

"I only tolerated your behavior because James influenced it. Now he's gone and you have no excuse to continue to act like that. Girls do _not_ wear pants, nor do they get in fights."

"Mom, that was last week! They were picking on Corbin for wearing glasses! If I wasn't there, Corbin could've been hurt!"

Lacey huffed and tucked a loose strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. She patted her hair in an attempt to fix it. "Go to your room," Lacey ordered.

"What?"

"Go. To. Your. Room. I've had enough of your attitude, young lady. Go upstairs and fix it."

Suzie spun on her heel and stomped to the bottom of the stairs. She turned back and glared at her mother.

"You would have never yelled at Bucky for being like this! You only yell at me because it's 'uncomely' for a girl to be...tough and independent. Well, guess what? Bucky's gone and there's probably no chance that he's going back. Yell at me all you want, but I'm the closet thing you will ever get to having him back!"

With that, Suzie stomped upstairs and slammed the door to her bedroom shut. She could hear her mother's sobs from downstairs, but she didn't regret what she said. She knew that it was true, and she knew that her mother knew.

Suzie sat down hard on her bed and curled her knees into her chest. As she hugged her legs, Suzie stared across the room to her desk. A family picture sat on top; Bucky was holding baby Corbin while Suzie and Travis stood on either side of him. All three were smiling as Corbin yawned.

Suzie smiled a bit, but emotions suddenly washed over her. Bucky was gone; probably forever. Tears fell down her cheeks. There was nothing that she could do to get him back. Nothing.

A thought that she had before popped into her head. An image of Uncle Sam pointing at her from his poster flashed behind Suzie's eyes. A memory of an enlistment sign at the train station floated into her mind.

Suzie sat up straight, her mind turning in thought. A smile found its way onto her face; her tears drying on her cheeks.

There _was_ something that she could do. It was risky, but Suzie lived for risks, There was no doubt in her mind as Suzie thought out a plan for her idea.

She was going to join the army.

 **I hope you enjoyed it so far. I hope you don't completely hate Lacey (Suzie's mom). I tried to write her as a loving and caring mother; she just is upset about Bucky's capture and the social norms at the time were just weird. Please review! I would love it! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter gets a little violent. I think I've said this before, but I have no idea where I get these ideas for stories. I hope you enjoy it, I guess. Cross country season is over, so I should be able to post more. However, basketball is starting after Thanksgiving, so I have no clue how busy I am going to be then. Please leave a comment! I would greatly appreciate hearing your opinions. :)**

 **Chapter Two: Panic at the Memorial**

It was around seven-thirty am the next day when Suzie's mom called her down from her room. Suzie dragged her feet slowly down the stairs and trudged into the kitchen. Corbin and Travis were eating there. Lacey was sitting at the head of the table and beckoned for Suzie to sit.

Suzie listened and dug into the food. She hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday.

"Suzannah," Lacey said. "There is a ceremony for all those captured, killed, or missing in action at Central Park at noon. I said that we would go, since James should be remembered."

Suzie almost choked on her piece of toast. "What?" she asked, although she heard perfectly clear.

"Someone decided to put together a ceremony for the soldiers we lost in battle," Lacey replied.

"Why?"

"Because it is respectful. I didn't put it together nor come up with the idea, but I said we would go, so we're going." Lacey's tone said that the conversation was done.

Suzie kept her mouth shut the rest of breakfast. She knew that having a memorial service was a nice thing to do, but it pained her to think that Bucky would be remembered there. If there was a service for all those lost in battle, then it seemed like everyone was giving up hope on their return. Giving up hope on Bucky's return was something that Suzie refused to do. She felt that if she believed that Bucky was dead, then it would actually happen and she didn't want it to be true.

Breakfast was over quickly and Suzie dashed upstairs before her mom could force her to clean the dishes. She had to get ready before they had to leave for the memorial, and there was no way that she was going to wear a dress.

Suzie ran a brush through her tangled hair to get out all the knots. Her hair fell down to her shoulders and had a few waves in it. She was always told that she got her hair from her father.

Suzie pulled open a drawer in her dresser. She ignored the drawer holding all the dresses she owned (there were a total of three), and skipped right to her shirts. She chose a light blue blouse that fell around her shoulders perfectly. She put on a pair of gray trousers, tucked her top in the waistband, and slipped on her worn-out shoes.

Travis and Corbin were already cleaned up and changed by the time Suzie came downstairs. The boy wore matching black pants and white shirts. Suspender straps kept their pants up, but they were covered by a jacket. They both had combed their hair and wore a newsboy cap on their heads. Lacey had done her hair up into a bun and wore a yellow top and a blue skirt. She glanced over Suzie's outfit and shook her head in disappointment.

"Go change," Lacey ordered and fixed a wide-brimmed hat on the top of her head.

" _Mom_ ," Suzie complained.

"No. I let you wander around wearing pants, but this is a formal event. Go put on a dress or skirt."

Suzie huffed and stomped upstairs to change. She tossed her pants onto her bed and grudgingly pulled on a gray skirt. She stomped back downstairs and followed her mother and brothers to the park.

A crowd had already gathered by the time the Barnes family arrived. Chairs were set up facing a stage. Each soldier that was being remembered had pictures on their own separate tables. Flowers and cards decorated each table as families wished the best of luck and their apologies to other families for their losses. There were a lot of hugs and tears shared amongst the ever-growing crowd.

Lacey led the way to the middle of the chairs. Already people were sitting down and waiting and staring expectantly up at the stage.

The family sat and waited. A few adults came over to talk to Lacey and to express their concern, but otherwise, they were left alone.

Corbin was beginning to fidget. He leaned in towards Suzie and whispered in her ear. "When's it starting?" he asked.

"Mom said it started at noon," Suzie replied back.

Corbin sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. His foot kept tapping the ground impatiently.

"Show some respect," Travis said and placed a hand on Corbin's leg to stop the tapping.

Corbin's blue eyes flashed behind his glasses. He took a deep breath and focused on a tree in the opposite direction of Travis. Travis sat higher in his seat and adjusted his cast.

Suzie opened her mouth to speak, but an elderly man stepped up onto the stage and the crowd fell silent.

The man tapped the microphone and it let out a loud screech. The crowd winced at the noise.

"Guess it's on, huh?" the man said. The crowd gave a small laugh. "Although it is because of depressing reasons that we are gathered here today, I welcome all of you. I am General Andrew Jenkins. Of course, I would be out there with our soldiers, but current health issues have sent me back home. I am here to hold the first memorial service that we've had for all missing, killed, or prisoners that we have lost. We need all the help we can get to fight off those Nazis. The war has cost many their lives, and I hope that more will sign up to fight and help bring the soldiers home sooner."

The crowd clapped respectfully as General Jenkins took a breath. Travis stopped fiddling with his cast and paid attention. Corbin turned his gaze towards the stage although Suzie could tell that his mind was wandering.

"I express my condolences to all the families who have suffered a loss. We are sending fathers, sons, friends, and brothers to fight for the safety of not only our nation but all those that the Nazis have taken control over. It may be hard to let our men go, but what they are doing is a good thing. I want to take this time to remember all those who have not come home. Whether it is because they are missing, captured, or killed, they will always be in our minds and prayers," General Jenkins announced.

A young woman handed him a slip of paper and hurried off of the stage. Jenkins held the paper up near the microphone and read off the names listed. Suzie's mind was wandering until a familiar name was spoken.

"Sergeant James Barnes, a member of the 107th Regiment. He and his fellow Howling Commandos were captured during a raid on a Hydra base. His current status is yet to be determined since there are no plans on a rescue mission…"

 _Yet to be determined_. He could still be alive! Suzie's temper started rising. Her brother could still be alive, but the army was doing _nothing_ to help him!

Suzie's thoughts were interrupted by a loud scream. The crowd turned and watched a little boy being pulled away from his mother. His mother was shouting at a tall man in a tuxedo to give her son back. The man pulled out a pistol and fired it into the air. The crowd screamed and started to run in different directions.

General Jenkins leaned into the microphone. "Drop the gun, sir!"

The man let the boy go, but not before shooting General Jenkins in the chest. General Jenkins fell to the ground with a grunt, clutching at his bleeding wound. Several people rushed over to help him.

"You try to stop us, but you only prolong the inevitable! Hail Hydra!" the man shouted. Two more men pulled out a rifle and fired into the crowd.

Suzie pushed Corbin down onto the ground as bullets sailed over their heads.

"Suzie!" Travis shouted in panic. He was pulling their dazed mother away from the three men. "We need to leave! NOW!"

Suzie crawled out from under the chairs and yanked Corbin onto his feet. Corbin fixed his glasses and took off sprinting behind his sister.

The park was in a state of panic. A few officers were trying to calm down the Hydra agents, but it was all in vain. One officer took a bullet to the chest.

Suzie weaved through the crowd, her hand gripping Corbin's wrist as tight as she could. Corbin complained about the tight grip, but Suzie ignored him and focused on getting them out of there. She lost track of where her mother and Travis were. Hopefully, they were okay.

Then, just as the two were almost out of the park, a fourth man stepped in front of them.

Suzie stopped in her tracks and stood protectively in front of Corbin.

"Where ya going, little girl?" the man jeered. A rifle rested against his shoulder, the barrel facing upwards. All it would take was one small movement from the man and Suzie would be dead.

Suzie bit her lip in nervousness. "I was leaving. Like one does when someone evil bastard is shooting up the place," Suzie shot back.

The man frowned, but the gun stayed facing the sky. "You're a feisty one, aren't ya?" The man chuckled. "Too bad that I haveta shoot ya. Boss says that no one gets away."

The man lowered his gun from his shoulder, but the movement was slow. Suzie saw that the man's wrist was broken. Must have gotten it smashed by some heavy object or something. Whatever it was, many years of getting into fights with bullies who bothered Corbin or Steve taught Suzie to utilize any weakness her opponents had.

Suzie threw the closest thing she could get her hands on, which so happened to be a rock, at the man. The man grunted as the rock nailed him right between the eyes. If Suzie was anything, she was an expert markswoman from being a pitcher when she played baseball with Bucky and his classmates.

Reflexes took over as Suzie tackled the man. The gun flew from his grasp and landed a few feet away. She had been in enough street fights to know how and where to punch. She kicked him between the legs and gave him a hard uppercut. The man grunted and spit out a mouthful of blood.

"You little skank!" the man shouted and tried to pry Suzie off of him, but she wasn't moving.

"Run!" Suzie shouted at Corbin. "Corbin, run!"

Corbin nodded and took off, but the man was too quick. He took advantage of Suzie being distracted and kicked her in the stomach. Suzie fell back with an 'oof.' The man lunged for his gun and fired.

"NO!" Suzie shouted. The shot flew through the air faster than the eye could see, but Suzie only saw it in slow motion.

As Corbin was running, his back turned, the bullet hit him straight through the chest. Blood splattered through the air, and Corbin was dead before he hit the ground.

An officer ran into the scene and shot the Hydra agent before he could get another round off. Suzie picked herself off of the ground and sprinted to her little brother's side. A pool of blood was already forming around his body. Suzie wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"CORBIN!" Suzie cried. Sobs wracked through her body as she mourned for her dead brother.

The officer rested a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump.

"Miss? Are you okay?" the officer asked.

"What do you think?!" Suzie snapped. She couldn't control her temper. "I just lost my brother!"

The officer took a step back at her sharp tone. "I'm so sorry about your loss, but you need to calm down."

"CALM DOWN?! Who do you think I am? A small, weak little girl that should follow a man's orders? NO! It's because of you, and men, that my brother is dead! So why don't you leave me alone and go help save other people since you couldn't save Corbin!" Suzie shouted, her light blue eyes full of hatred and anger. She knew she shouldn't shout at the officer, but she couldn't help it. Several emotions flooded her body, leaving her confused and dazed.

The officer left the two alone. Suzie's outburst had exhausted her and she slumped against her dead, little brother. Corbin would have looked cute, almost peaceful as if he was sleeping, if it wasn't for the large patch of blood on his shirt from the bullet hole.

Suzie reached up and straightened Corbin's cracked glasses. She hugged him closer and cried. She didn't know if there were more Hydra agents around, but she didn't care.

" _Just shoot me and end my misery,"_ Suzie thought. Right now, anything could be better than this.

" _But how did they know that there was a memorial?"_ Suzie thought. " _Surely this was arranged beforehand? Someone must have tipped them off…"_

Suzie's head jerked up in realization. This attack had to have been planned. There was no way that four men just randomly decided to shoot up a memorial service. There were definitely some ulterior motives and reasoning behind this suffering.

As thoughts flooded her brain, Suzie felt more and more determined to join the army and fight for her country. She just _had_ to help put an end to all this pain.

Looking around, Suzie found her mother kneeling in the middle of the overturned chairs. She was crying and hugging something. Suzie squinted through the tears as she tried to figure out what her mother was holding.

Shock hit Suzie like a brick. She got to her feet and dragged Corbin over, refusing to go of him. Travis was lying on the ground, his breathing labored. Blood stuck his shirt to his stomach, where it was flowing out in surprisingly large amounts.

"Travis?" Suzie whispered. Travis forced a weak smile as he saw his sister.

"I'm okay," Travis gasped out.

Suzie shook her head in disbelief. Travis was _always_ joking, even if it was in the face of death.

"We'll get help. You will be okay. You're okay, right?" Suzie asked.

Suzie made to stand up, but Travis' good arm flew up and grabbed Suzie's wrist. He pulled her back down and stared intently into her eyes. His brown eyes were dull and full of tears.

"It's too late. Suzie, it's too late," Travis said.

Suzie shook her head again, this time in denial. "No, it's never too late. Right, mom?"

Suzie looked at her mother. Lacey was pale in sadness and was shaking slightly. Just when she thought she couldn't get surprised any more today, Realization dawned on Suzie. Her mother was giving up! Defeat hung on the older woman's shoulders like a heavy backpack filled textbooks and rocks.

Why was her mother giving up? She needed her! Suzie was the only sane one left, so she took responsibility for her own hands.

"Travis, we'll be okay. Just hold on for a little while longer while I get help," Suzie said.

Travis tried to pull Suzie back, but his grip was weakening. Suzie noticed this and was torn between staying by his side or going to get help.

A medic was making her way through the crowd to those in need. Suzie waved her over and the medic immediately started inspecting Travis. After a few minutes, the medic stood up and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't save him. The best thing to do is to make him comfortable," the medic said sadly.

"What?" Suzie gasped out. Was she the only one who had not given up hope? Was she the only one who was willing to fight on and believe even if the odds were against her?

"I'm sorry miss." The medic gave her a small pat on the back and went off to help other people.

Suzie looked down at Travis' pale face. His eyes were screwed up in pain as he tried to breathe. His head was cradled in Lacey's lap.

"Travis…" Suzie couldn't stand watching him like this, but she forced herself to stay put.

"I'm okay, Suzie. Tell Corbin that he can finally have a room to himself," Travis replied. Suzie choked back a sob. She didn't have the heart to tell Travis that Corbin was lying dead a few feet away from him.

Suzie tried to say something in reply, but Travis took a deep and final breath. Sobs shook Lacey's slim body as tears rolled down both women's cheeks.

A couple of men picked up Travis' body and carried him away in an ambulance. Lacey pulled Suzie into a hug and the two cried as they clung onto each other. Their fight earlier was forgotten as they hugged.

Lacey finally pulled away and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "I suppose we should go find Corbin."

"Mom," Suzie said. Lacey turned and looked sadly at her daughter. Lacey had aged beautifully, but her wrinkles and lines were more prominent. The shock of the past hour had taken a few years off of her life.

"We'll be alright, right?" Suzie asked, her voice cracking.

Lacey's head fell limp against her chest. She took Corbin's and Travis's hands in hers and sobbed, "First Henry, then James, and now Travis and Corbin?! When will it end?"

"Mom, you still have me," Suzie said. "I'll join the army, so I can put an end to this horror. Mom, I'll bring Bucky home."

"I know dear." Lacey patted Suzie on the cheek. Not soon after, she collapsed.

Suzie shouted for a doctor. Two doctors rushed over and helped Lacey onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. Suzie climbed into the back of the ambulance and sat in the corner, watching the paramedics hook Lacey up to several machines.

A few minutes had passed, but to Suzie, it felt like a lifetime. The paramedics wheeled Lacey into the hospital and into a room. One man told Suzie to wait outside in the lobby.

Suzie sat there in a daze. She couldn't think. She couldn't move. All the day's events had left her exhausted and confused. She was too tired to be angry or upset. She couldn't cry even if she wanted too.

After what seemed like an hour, a nurse came out and motioned for Suzie to come over. Suzie stood up and walked with the nurse down the hall.

The nurse was saying something about "heart failure," but Suzie was too numb to pay attention. The nurse stopped Suzie right outside the door.

"I'm sorry, miss, but we tried to save her. We think it was because of what happened earlier. She died because of a broken heart," the nurse said quietly and tried to give Suzie a hug.

Suzie pulled away and burst into the room. She ignored the nurse's shouts to stop.

"Mom!" Suzie cried. Her mother was lying on a hospital bed. There were no more wires or tubes attached. Her blonde hair was fanned out on the pillow.

Someone grabbed Suzie's arm and tried to talk to her, but Suzie yanked herself free and flung herself next to the bed. She tried to hug her mother, but the bed railing was blocking her. Suzie let the sobs break free.

"MOM!" Suzie cried again. She didn't understand. Why was everyone taken away from her? Was she the only last one living in the Barnes family?

Suzie cried into her mother's side. She cursed Hydra. She cursed the war. She cursed her beliefs and religion. She felt abandoned and alone. And there was nothing she could do about it.

Nothing…

Suzie suddenly leaped up and sprinted down the hall and to the stairs. She practically jumped down the stairs and ran all the way down to the train station. She didn't stop until she had reached her destination.

With shaking fingers, she reached up and signed "Riley Barnes" (her dead cousin's name) onto the enlistment form tacked there on the train station wall.

 **I have to say that it gets more violent as it goes on. World War II was a rather violent time, but with Hydra and the technology that Hydra has, it just gets worse. Hopefully, that doesn't scare you away from reading this story. Please comment if you have any questions, comments, or concerns.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Last chapter was a bit mean to Suzie, so this one is nicer. She doesn't suffer as much. (Sorry Suzie! Don't hate me!) Some certain characters will be coming soon. (Not in this chapter, but the next.) ;) I realized that most of the chapter names are based off of bands or song lyrics (kind of like the title of this story). I thought that my title was pretty clever since the main character's name is Suzannah. (ha ha, jokes) It would be funny except that the title is kind of ominous...**

 **Chapter Three: What Doesn't Kill, You Makes You Stronger**

There were many flaws in her plan, she realized now. It was one thing to sign up using one's dead cousin's name, but it was another to actually show up to the recruitment building.

Suzie knew that if she signed using her real name, she would never get accepted. Riley had died of pneumonia a few years ago, so Suzie decided to use his identity to enlist. It wasn't the best idea, nor was it morally correct, but Riley was a good kid and they were around the same age.

Suzie realized with a shiver that she was the only living member of the Barnes family left. Bucky was probably, _hopefully_ , alive, but she didn't know where he was.

The young woman stared at her reflection. There were dark circles under her eyes and her eyes were red from crying. Her hair was a mess, brown tangles of hair stuck up in every direction. She was wearing a brown pair of pants and a white shirt. She tried her best to look like a man, but there were many problems.

The first one was her hair. She didn't want to cut it shorter than it already was. Her mother always liked Suzie's long hair and she wanted to honor her mother by not messing with it. She hoped that she could pass through the line with her hair pulled into a man-bun.

She didn't wear makeup; she never did, but her face was still slightly feminine. She wasn't a curvy girl. Her body was built more like a boy than a girl, so that helped a lot. There was just one other problem that she had to take care of: her chest.

The men who enlisted were sitting in the waiting room with their shirts off. There was no way that Suzie could pass as a man, nor was she going to take her shirt off in public. She had snuck into the building because she had a hat pulled low over her face and wore baggy clothes, but without those, she would be caught.

Suzie sighed and ran a brush through her tangled hair. She pulled it into a tight man-bun. It didn't look too bad. Not many men had man-buns or long hair, but it was not completely unusual.

The other problem, on the other hand, was not an easy fix. Her chest was far from prominent as the other girls her age were, but it was still noticeably female.

There was a knock on the door.

"Sir?" a deep voice asked. "Are you alright?"

Suzie stopped fumbling through her bag and glanced at the door. It was locked. Good.

"Yeah, just nervous," Suzie replied, making her voice deeper. She was surprisingly good at impressions and making different voices, but she couldn't do it for long. She would have to choose her words carefully.

"Okay. Whenever you're ready," the voice said. Footsteps could be heard fading away as the man left.

Suzie returned to her task. She had brought her mother's makeup that she felt bad for stealing but nobody else was in the house and not many people would buy used makeup.

Suzie pulled her shirt over her head. She wasn't wearing anything underneath since the baggy clothes covered her well enough.

It was time for the paint. She tried to draw a scar so hideous that hopefully the nurses would be fine letting her leave her shirt on. If that plan didn't work, then she was out of options. After she was done, Suzie looked at her work in the mirror. She wasn't an artist, that was more Steve's thing, but it looked passable.

Suzie carefully pulled her shirt on over her work. The makeup had already dried so it didn't leave residue on the shirt.

She decided that her face looked too feminine, so she took a makeup brush and added stubble or a shadow of facial hair. She stared at the details.

" _Nah. Too fake,"_ Suzie thought. She rubbed her hands on her cheeks and chin in an attempt to remove the makeup. Instead it smeared the makeup, making the "facial hair" look more like a realistic five o'clock shadow.

"Huh," Suzie said in surprise.

Suzie gathered her things, took a deep breath, and opened the bathroom door.

" _Here goes,"_ Suzie thought as she sat down in the waiting room. She deliberately sat in the corner, away from the men. " _What could happen? The worst they could do is kick me out, right?"_

Suzie picked up a magazine and pretended to read so it would cover her face. The words were a blur on the page. Doubt kept invading Suzie's thoughts. She tried to focus on her plan, but the thought of failing was almost too real.

It was about twenty minutes before it was her turn to go through the recruitment process.

"Riley Barnes?" the man at the desk called out. Suzie didn't hear him, so the man repeated. "Riley Barnes?"

Suzie looked up from her paper. "Oh, that's me," she said quietly to herself.

She stood up and looked around. There was no one else in the room besides her and the man.

"Right this way," the man opened a curtain that led to a small, enclosed area and Suzie followed him in.

A nurse was taking notes on a clipboard. The man from the desk closed the curtain and left the two alone.

"Please take off your shirt," the nurse said and motioned for Suzie to take a seat on the hospital bed.

Suzie hesitated and the nurse noticed.

"Is there something wrong?" the nurse asked.

"I-I have a scar that I'm not really comfortable showing people," Suzie lied, hoping upon hope that the nurse will buy into it.

Somehow, the nurse let the subject drop. Either the nurse didn't care or was too tired from working all day (Suzie had seen several men flirting with her).

"It's alright, you don't need it off anyways. You are Riley Barnes, right?" the nurse asked. She was wearing a white dress and a _Red Cross_ hat on top of her blonde hair.

Suzie nodded.

The nurse smiled. "Not much of a talker, huh? Well that doesn't matter. You are from Cold Spring, New York?" Another nod and the nurse wrote something down on her clipboard. "Good. I'm going to take blood pressure and heart rate."

The nurse put her stethoscope on Suzie's chest and told her to breathe deeply. Suzie obeyed and tried not to think of what would happen if she was found out.

After a minute or so, the nurse removed the stethoscope and jotted down some notes. She attached a blood pressure machine to Suzie's arm and wrote down more notes.

"Good. Now if you could stand on the scale so I could take your weight."

Suzie stepped onto the scale. She was average for girls her age.

"A little underweight, but its fine. Your height please," the nurse said and pointed to the tape measure attached to the wall. "Five foot six, perfect."

Suzie sat back down on the bed.

"Do you have any health complications?" the nurse asked.

Suzie shook her head no.

"Allergies?"

Another no.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty," Suzie said in a deep voice.

"Oh, what caused you to wait until twenty instead of eighteen?"

"My mother needed help with her health problems," Suzie replied.

"And her health problems were?" the nurse prodded.

"A bad hip from falling down the stairs. She couldn't walk."

"Is she better now?"

"You could say that…" Suzie said quietly as she stared at the floor. The pain of losing her mother and brothers was still fresh.

"Is she living by herself?"

"No. She passed away a month ago. Heart attack."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the nurse said. She wrote more words on her clipboard. The nurse stood up and extended her hand. Suzie stood up as well and took it. "Well, that's it for now. You should get a letter in the mail if you are accepted."

"Thanks," Suzie said and grabbed her bag. The nurse held the curtain open for her and Suzie smiled in response.

As she left the building, Suzie couldn't help but hope that the letter would come quickly. The nurse didn't seem suspicious of Suzie's appearance. There was a good chance that she would get accepted, but it _had_ to come soon. Bucky needed her help, and Suzie doubted that Bucky would be able to last much longer, wherever he was.

It was nearly a week before the letter came. Suzie was wandering around the train station after her mother's and brothers' funeral earlier that day. She couldn't stand being at the cemetery since it was painful to watch their caskets being lowered into the crowd. They were buried next to Suzie's father, Henry Barnes. It was hard to accept that she would never see them again.

Just out of pure habit, Suzie checked the post office and the little mailbox that held the Barnes' family mail. Usually it was empty except for bills, since there were no living relatives left. Today, however, there was a small envelope addressed to "Riley Barnes." Suzie pulled it out in a hurry and ran home before she opened it.

The house was a mess since Suzie didn't have the motivation to clean it. Dirty plates and dishes filled the sink. Clothes were scattered on Suzie's bedroom floor. A thin layer of dust had settled on everything. Usually this much dust wasn't noticeable for the average person, but since Lacey was a huge neatfreak, everything had to be spotless all the time.

Suzie plopped down the living room couch and tore open the letter. She tossed the envelope aside and read the first lines on the paper inside. She skimmed over the letter. It was clearly an enlistment letter. She was accepted!

For the first time in the past few days, Suzie burst into a genuine smile. She jumped off the couch and gave a loud "whoop!" She rushed upstairs to her room and immediately started packing. The ship that would take her and other recruits was leaving that Saturday early in the morning. It was Wednesday today, but Suzie wanted to be packed and ready. She didn't want to forget anything.

A small suitcase was nestled under her bed and covered in dust. She cleaned the dust off and opened it up. She threw in several pairs of pants, shirts, socks, and underwear. She only had one pair of shoes: an old pair of leather boots that were a hand-me down from Bucky. Travis would usually get all of Bucky's old clothes, but the shoes only fix Suzie. Travis had larger feet than Bucky, much like their father, so Suzie claimed all of Bucky's shoes. They were a little big on her, but she stuffed newspapers in the toes and tied the laces really tight so they wouldn't slip off.

A few more hygiene essentials went into the suitcase: a brush, a few hair ties, a toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant, femaine products (she didn't want to think what would happen when that time of the month came and a man noticed a blood stain), and some shampoo. With those packed, Suzie closed the suitcase and tossed her dark gray jacket on top. She loved that jacket. She had gotten it a few years ago but it still fit her. It was in surprisingly good shape because Suzie treated it with respect. She had forgotten where she had got it from, but she still cherished it.

With her suitcase packed, Suzie decided to make dinner to keep her mind off of what was to come. As she was busy making grilled cheese sandwiches, she couldn't help but wonder what would happen to the house. Should she sell it? Keep it standing for when or if she comes back? The questions seemed to keep coming with no end; Suzie just hoped that Saturday would come soon.

Saturday came soon enough. Before she knew it, Suzie was up and packing the last, little things that she needed. She had changed into a brown pair of pants, a white shirt, her jacket, and Bucky's old boots. She had her hair pulled into a man-bun with the makeup facial hair and a newsboy cap pulled low over her eyes. She had packed makeup just in case her face got wet and messed up her fake facial hair.

Suzie grabbed the suitcase and slung a backpack over her shoulders. She stepped out onto the front porch and locked the door behind her. As she walked down the little driveway, Suzie turned and looked back at her home.

The paint was peeling and the grass was yellow, but it was home. A home that she might not return too.

Suzie sighed and tried to hold back her tears. She didn't want to leave, but the house reminded her of Travis, Corbin, and her mom. No, she had to leave. She had to find Bucky.

The walk to the train station wasn't long. A bunch of other men were already gathered there. They were standing in small groups surrounded by suitcases and other bags. Suzie nodded in acknowledgement when a man turned and waved or smiled at her, but otherwise she kept her head low and stood away from the crowd.

A loud train whistle rang through the air and the men grabbed their belongings and boarded the train. Suzie picked up her suitcase from the ground and followed.

A man dressed in an officer's outfit was standing near the entrance of the train car holding a clipboard.

"You're name?" the man asked and looked up his clipboard.

"Riley Barnes," Suzie replied.

The man jotted down the name and waved her forward. "Choose wherever you want to sit, as long as you get off at your assigned stop."

Suzie nodded and followed his instructions. She walked through the train cars, feeling as if everyone was staring at her but most of the passengers were hanging out the windows and waving goodbye to their loved ones. There were a few men who had already claimed their spots.

"Hey," one man with a thick beard said. He was busy sharpening a knife.

"Is this taken?" Suzie asked and pointed to the only open seat across from him.

"Nah," the man replied and went back to sharpening.

Suzie smiled and dropped her bag onto the floor. Just when she sat down, a voice crackled over the intercom.

"Attention passengers," the man announced. "We will be leaving shortly but the captain would like to speak to you first.

Everyone dropped what they were doing and went up to the main deck.

Everyone pulled back into the train cars and listened.

"I am Captain Richard Smith," another man's voice announced over the speakers. "I will be the one who is in charge of you a lot, well, at least until we get to our main base camp. Colonel Chester Phillips will be in charge of you once you land. I will seem nice compared to him, so take this seriously while you still can. Since it _is_ the first day, I will give you this time, and only today, to make friends," Captain Smith announced.

The train whistled and jerked as it started to pull away. Suzie looked out the window and watched as the train station grew smaller. Her old life was slipping away and she was being led to a new one.

There was no turning back now.

 **Next chapter coming soon! Hopefully things get better for Suzie. I swear I have no idea where I get this ideas. If you ask my friends, they would say that I'm kind and possibly even sweet. Guess my mind is full of dark thoughts. Oops! Whatever, I'm rambling. I wonder who actually reads author's notes. Please review! I would love to here from you! :) (Also, please note that I made some changes if you have already read this. I realized that having a ship in this chapter didn't make much sense so I changed it to a train. I'm going through the whole story and making changes accordingly so that it makes more sense and is a better overall. Thank you).**


	4. Chapter 4

**A familiar face appears in this chapter. ;) I realized after writing chapter 3 and this one, how stupid it was to write about taking a ship when Camp Leigh is in New Jersey, so I rewrote it. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter Four: Surprise at Base Camp**

The train ride was only a few hours long. She had managed to keep her cover by staying in her spot and not talking whenever she could. The worst part was sharing the bathroom with other men who were twice her size. She was tall for her age, but the men she shared a train car with were giant. Suzie tried to time her bathroom break when there were as little men around as possible.

Finally, the train slowed down and stopped in a station in New Jersey. Everyone gathered their things and filed into military trucks. Suzie leaned against the truck wall and kept her mouth shut. Nerves were starting to kick in as Camp Lehigh drew closer.

One of the men in the same truck was going on and on about how Captain America was trained at this same camp. Suzie had heard of Captain America, but she didn't know who exactly he was.

The truck stopped and everyone got out. Someone led the group to small cabins. Suzie claimed the bed in the corner and tossed her bags on top of the bed. They were given time to wander around the camp before training the next day.

It was around the afternoon when they got to camp, so she had the rest of the day until evening to wander around. There was a meeting during the evening, but the rest of the time was her's.

Camp Lehigh was located in Wheaton, New Jersey and was surrounded by a lot of trees. The main entrance was heavily guarded and there were countless buildings scattered around. The lunch/mess hall was the largest and was near the General's cabin. The cabin where her belongings were was the closest cabin to the mess hall.

Suzie stuck her hands in her pants pockets and ducked her head against the fall breeze. She walked past the infirmary, or at least she thought it looked like the infirmary. The building was quite large compared to the rest of the buildings. She could hear people talking inside, so she decided to move on.

As she walked past the back door of the infirmary, she turned a corner too sharp, and ran right into somebody.

"I'm so sorry," Suzie said and straightened her hat as she looked up into the man's face.

Something was familiar about the man's eyes, hair, facial structure…

"Bucky?!" Suzie cried in shock.

The man put his hands up in surrender. "Look, I can explain. I just wanted some fresh air, and it was hot and stuffy in the infirmary, so I decided to go for a quick walk. I was heading back. You know I can't stay still in one place for so long. Wait, who am I kidding? You probably don't know me. I don't you...I think. Please don't tell Ste..."

Suzie held up a hand to stop him. "Relax. You _do_ know me," Suzie began. She glanced behind her. They were alone. "Bucky, it's me. Suzie."

Realization appeared in the man's light blue eyes. "Suzie? What the hell are you doing here?!" Bucky exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down! I don't want to get caught." She laughed. "I guess that makes two of us, since you're not supposed to be wandering around."

Bucky's mouth hung open in shock. Suzie took her hat off and looked up at her oldest brother.

"I thought you were dead!" Suzie exclaimed.

"I thought you were in _Brooklyn_. What the hell Suzie? Why are you wearing my old clothes? And what do you have on your face? Is that makeup?" Bucky questioned and reached to wipe it off.

Suzie slapped his hand away. "Yes, it's makeup, but it's only so I can blend in. I guess it worked since you didn't recognize me right away."

Bucky blinked. He was standing still, unnaturally still for someone who liked to move around. "How...why? Explain yourself. You _do_ realize that you could get into serious trouble if they catch you. Who else knows about your 'dress up?'"

Suzie rolled her eyes. "It's not _dress up_. I enlisted and got recruited to join the army fair and square. You are the only one who knows about this and I'd like to keep it that way." Suzie crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned on her right leg defiantly.

"And why would you consider joining the army? It's dangerous. You-"

"You were captured!" Suzie shouted. She glanced around her and lowered her voice. "I didn't know whether or not you were alive since the US army wasn't releasing any information about your status. Everyone believed that you were dead, but I didn't. I knew that you were alive, so I joined the army to find you since nobody was doing anything to help you," Suzie explained.

Bucky ignored her question. "And you think that you could have done something on your own that the army couldn't do?"

" _Yes!"_ Suzie cried, worry was clear in her eyes. "And when did you get back?"

"A few days ago. Captain America saved me," Bucky replied. His energy seemed to be diminished. Suzie noticed several bruises on his face and the lack of energy. His hair was a mess and he seemed to favor his left leg.

"Are you okay?" Suzie asked.

"I'm fine," Bucky crossed his arms in front of his chest in a similar pose to Suzie's. Suzie dropped her arms and picked at her jacket sleeve.

"Do you promise not to tell?" she asked.

"Why can't you go home? I'm back, I'm safe, you can leave now."

"But I _just_ got here. I really can't leave. What would they think of Riley Barnes then?"

"You used our cousin's name?" Bucky's mouth dropped open again.

"Yeah. So?"

"He died of pneumonia a few years ago!"

"They don't know that!"

"You are so unbelievable!" Bucky threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

"You would have done the same thing for me," Suzie pressed on.

"What about mom, huh? Did you leave her by herself? What about Travis and Corbin? Do they know where you are?" Bucky questioned.

Suzie paused.

" _Suzie,_ " Bucky raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

"They-they…" She sniffed and wiped her cheek. A stupid tear had rolled down her cheek, signaling the start of a waterfall of emotions. "There was an attack on a memorial service that we went to, and-and they did-didn't m-make it. Travis and C-Corbin were s-shot. The doctors said that m-mom d-died of a b-broken heart in the hospital. I couldn't stand being alone! I _needed_ to find you! You're the only one left!" Suzie cried.

Bucky's eyes widened in shock. He wrapped his arms around his little sister. Suzie clung to him and cried into his shoulder. Bucky sniffed and tried to hold back his own tears.

"You should go rest. We'll talk about this tomorrow," Bucky said quietly after a few minutes of mourning.

Suzie nodded and let go of her brother. She turned, fixed her hat, and went back to her cabin. Bucky watched her leave. His eyes were puffy from tring to hold back his tears. His mom, his brothers, were gone. Suzie, precious Suzie, was the only family he had left. It started to make sense why she enlisted to save him, but it was still too risky and dangerous to let her stay in the army.

Bucky slowly walked back to his bed in the infirmary. He ignored the nurse's scolding and laid down on his bed in defeat. He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the white ceiling.

It was hard to comprehend the events of last week's events. All in the matter of a month, he had gone from being at base camp, fighting in a trench in Europe, being captured and experimented on, being rescued by his best friend who was strangely taller and stronger, finding out that his sister joined the army, and finally hearing about his mother's and brothers' deaths. It was too much to handle, too much to think about. Bucky tossed and turned all night, vivid visions of his time with Hydra flashing through his mind.

Sergeant James Barnes eventually fell asleep crying.

 **Chapter 5 coming soon! Please review! :)**


	5. Remembering Stan Lee

**I want to take this time to remember someone special. Today, the world lost a brilliant mind. Stan Lee, the creator of Marvel died today at age 95. The cause of death is still unknown, but he was rushed to a hospital in an ambulance. Although he is mainly known for creating and bringing the best superheroes to life, Stan Lee was a hero himself. He served in the military for a few years before starting his own comic book company with Jack Kirby. The** ** _Captain America_** **comics helped sell war bonds that helped the US army. The world will greatly miss his wonderful presence and the joy we get every time we see his cameo in a Marvel movie. His legacy will thrive on in our hearts as we remember the wondrous light he brought to this world. Rest in peace, Stan Lee. You are forever in our thoughts and prayers.**


	6. Chapter 5

**There's less action in this one, but more talking. I hope you enjoy! Please read and review! :)**

 **This chapter and whole story is dedicated to Stan Lee. RIP 3**

 **Chapter Five: One Woman Army**

The first day of training started as soon as the sun came up. Suzie hardly had time to put her 'facial hair' on and do her hair before they started.

Colonel Phillips had the new recruits doing pushups and jumping jacks. Suzie could do a pushups fairly well, but the men had much better form and were doing more much faster than her.

"Again!" Colonel Phillips shouted. "We don't want to send weak men out to fight for us! We need the strength! If its too hard, there's the exit!" He pointed to main entrance.

Suzie took a deep breath and went back to her pushups. Colonel Phillips blew a whistle and everyone switched to jumping jacks.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see two men making their way over to the group. As they drew closer, she could see that one of them was Bucky. She thought the tall, blonde man looked familiar but she couldn't figure out where. Bucky was wearing loose green shirt and brown pants. The blonde was wearing an army captain's uniform. The two were talking quietly.

"Barnes!" Colonel Phillips shouted. He blew the whistle and everyone stopped. "What are you doing out of the infirmary?"

"It's okay. I wanted him here," the other blonde man said.

Colonel Phillips smiled. "Alright. Since you're here, why don't you lead the new recruits in their training exercises. Barnes, you take it easy. You just got back. I don't want you passing out on us again," Colonel Phillips said and patted Bucky on the back. To the group, he said: "In case you didn't know, this is Captain America. He's going to take over from here."

Suzie could barely tell, but blonde's face turned a bit red at the recognition. Was the famous Captain America blushing? Suzie smirked at the idea. In actuality, the Captain reminded her of Steve.

"Alright soldiers! You may have just gotten here yesterday, but that doesn't mean we're going easy on you," Captain America announced. "Soldiers, today we are going to run eight miles. Usually we do ten, but I'm not that mean."

Suzie heard Bucky scoff.

"Like you are _ever_ mean. You're the nicest person I know," Bucky said quietly, but Suzie heard it.

Bucky's eye caught Suzie's, making her look away.

Captain America turned even more red in the face. He cleared his throat. "Alright, grab your packs and the gun that was issued to you last night and follow me."

He motioned the new recruits to line up in formation behind a Jeep.

"Don't you want to run with them?" Bucky asked. "I can drive, you run."

"You are in no condition to drive," Captain America replied. "Get in. I'm driving."

Bucky glared playfully at the blonde. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Sure I can. I'm the captain!" the blonde said and lightly punched Bucky on the arm.

"Don't let that get to your head, punk."

"Jerk," Captain America replied, smirking. He hopped into the Jeep and started it. Bucky smiled and climbed in beside him.

Suzie strapped her backpack on her pack and held her gun in both hands. The interaction between her brother and the captain was strangely familiar.

"Ready?" the captain called. The group nodded. "Stay in formation and follow me!"

The Jeep took off. The new recruits took off running in formation. Suzie followed closely behind.

" _This is easy,"_ Suzie thought as the first mile came and went.

The next mile was a breeze. The fifth started hurting.

The rest of the run was painful. Suzie surprised herself by staying up with the group. She was in last, but only by ten or so feet.

They stopped at a flagpole with the camp's logo on it.

Captain America got out of the Jeep and gestured to the flag. "The first person to reach the flag and brings it to me gets a ride back."

Bucky rested and arm against the back of the seat and pointed at Captain America. "He's the only one who's ever gotten it."

Again, the captain turned red.

Suzie smiled and glanced up a the pole. It was the average height for a flagpole. Already men were climbing up it, but it was too high to reach. They would get close, only to slide right back down or be pulled down by another man who was eager to reach it.

Suzie waited until the excitement died down a bit. Men gave up and drifted back into formation. There were only a few men left who were desperately pushing and shoving their way to the pole. Suzie ignored them and in a bold move, climbed onto one man's back and used him as a boost up the pole. The man complained, but Suzie was almost to the top. Her smaller and thinner body helped her inch her way up the pole.

Only a few more inches. The flag was in reach, when a hand clamped down her leg and yanked, hard.

Suzie fell to the ground and lay still. Her vision was dazed and she could barely make out Bucky running towards her.

"Alright men!" Suzie heard the captain shout. "Enough rough play and get back into formation! We are a team, and there is no need to hurt each other!"

"Hey." A soft hand pressed against her face, forcing her to look up into familiar blue eyes.

"Hm?" Suzie hummed. Her vision was starting to clear. Nothing seemed broken, that was a plus.

"Are you okay? Can you stand?" Bucky asked.

Suzie blinked the fuzziness out of her eyes. "Yeah," she breathed.

Bucky extended his hand and she took it. He pulled her easily to her feet. "Don't do anything else stupid until we get to checked out at the infirmary," Bucky said.

"Stupid? I wasn't the one who pulled someone down and made them fall at least twenty feet," Suzie snapped back.

Bucky forced himself to keep his mouth shut. Golly, his sister was so temperamental at times. "I know, but you might be hurt."

"I'm fine!' Suzie pushed him away and stomped back to her spot in the back of the formation.

"Hey!" Captain America called. "Lose the attitude!"

Suzie glared at the stupid blonde from underneath her helmet. The blonde ignored her and turned to Bucky. Bucky whispered something into his ear, and the two climbed back into the Jeep.

The captain cleared his throat. "Alright! I think that's enough action for today, so let's head on back. Oh, and I want to talk to both of you after we get back" He motioned towards Suzie and the man who pulled Suzie down.

Suzie huffed and rolled her eyes. This was just a _great_ start to the army.

/\/\/\/\/\

"Don't ever do that again," Captain America scolded the husky man who pulled Suzie down the pole. "Understand?"

"Yes sir," the man replied.

"We don't want to put our men in danger at camp. We are all friends and allies here. Now go off and enjoy the night."

The man nodded and stood up. He was at the door when the blonde called.

"Oh, and bring in the other, okay?"

"Yes sir," the man grunted and left.

Captain America sighed. It was tough being in charge of everyone and having everyone listen to him. It was a complete change from his life in Brooklyn.

"You wanted to speak to me?" a voice asked tentatively, shaking the blonde from his thoughts.

The dear captain nodded and motioned for the smaller man to sit. They were in a tent with a desk and chairs. It was mostly used for storing files, but the captain chose it since nobody else was in there and he wanted the talks private.

"Are you okay? Anything broken?" the captain asked.

"No. I'm fine," the brunette replied.

Captain America squinted. Something about this man seemed familiar. Even with the facial hair, something seemed off. The blue eyes, the chocolate colored hair, his face…

"Suzie?" the captain asked.

The brunette blinked. "I'm sorry, who?"

"Suzannah Barnes, Bucky's sister. You look a lot like her."

The brunette's mouth was open in shock. "I don't know what you mean…"

"You were always a terrible liar, just like your brother. Well, you could lie to other people, but I know you so well-"

The smaller man held up a hand. "I don't know you! You don't know me! You must be mistaken-"

"Steve Rogers," the captain interrupted.

"What?"

"I'm Steve Rogers."

The man laughed. "You must be joking! Steve's tiny and has asthma. You-you have muscles and...muscles…"

"Bucky never told you?" Steve asked.

"How? You have muscles. You're actually taller than me, and you have _muscles_ ," Suzie took a shaky breath. Up close, Steve was _so_ attractive…

Suzie shook her head. No, it would be weird to be attracted to someone whom she's known her entire life and considered a friend. This was so odd. She never wanted to be in a relationship, never even thought that boys were cute, but Steve...

" _Muscles_ ," Suzie muttered, her eyes wide in shock.

Steve laughed. "Bucky was shocked too."

"How? You were skinny! And had no...muscles." She could practically feel her face turn red.

"Super Soldier Serum," Steve said. "It made me stronger and taller. I was the only one who survived any experiments or stuff like that."

"Wow," Suzie sighed. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. Steve noticed this and laughed.

"What about you? Why are you here dressed up like a man?" Steve asked.

Suzie blinked and shook her head. "What?"

"Why are you here? You do know that you could get into a lot of trouble if they caught you. You could have become a nurse or helped Peggy," Steve suggested.

"No!" Suzie's temper started rising. "I joined because Bucky was missing and I wanted to rescue him since the freaking army was doing absolutely _nothing_ about it! But then, when I got here, he was fine. How the heck did he get here and nobody send a letter home? A letter! One freaking letter would have been better than letting us drown in misery!"

"Suzie," Steve said calmly. Suzie glared at him. "I was worried too. After I got the serum, I felt like I actually had a fighting chance to save him. So I did."

"You brought him back?" Suzie asked quietly.

"Yes, and the rest of his team. We destroyed the Hydra base."

Suzie's eyes started tearing up. She practically jumped over the desk and into Steve's arms.

"Thank you!" she sniffed and buried her head in his shoulder. "Thank you."

Steve patted her back. "It's okay. We're fine now."

"Fine now?" Suzie asked and looked at Steve. "We still have this stupid war to win. We still have to beat those stupid Nazis. And I'm going to help do so." She climbed off Steve and fixed her clothes. Steve looked at her questioningly.

"Are you sure you don't want to go home? I mean, it's safer there with your mom-"

"No!" Suzie cried. Steve jumped a little at the harsh tone. "It's not safe there. It's not safe anywhere until this war is over and we win. Keep this a secret, okay."

"Does Bucky-"

"Yes he knows, and I still have to talk to him later, but promise me that you will keep quiet."

"Suzie…"

" _Promise. Me._ "

Steve sighed. "I could get into a whole lot of trouble, but fine. I promise that I won't say anything."

Suzie smiled. She turned to leave.

"Suzie," Steve called after her.

Suzie turned back at the door and raised an eyebrow.

"Be careful, okay?" Steve said.

Suzie smiled and raised her right hand in an army salute very similar to Bucky's. Then she spun on her heel and strode out of the tent, determined to do her best for her country.

/\/\/\/\/\

Laughter could be heard at the bar. Everyone from Camp Leigh was at a local bar in a nearby town. The soldiers were laughing and drinking to their heart's content.

Suzie Barnes was sitting on a bar stool at the far end of the bar counter. A raven haired man with a creepy mustache was buying her a drink.

"You new here?" the man asked as he ordered two beers.

"Yeah. Just got here a few days ago," Suzie replied, her cover still not blown.

"You'll learn to either love it or hate it here. There's really no in between."

"Well, I want to end this war, so I guess I'll suffer for this nation."

"Cheers to that, brother." The man held up his beer glass. Suzie tentatively took hers. She never drank before. She didn't know how to tell the man that she was not only too young to drink, but that she definitely didn't want beer. Nonetheless, she grabbed her glass and clinked it against the man's. He smiled at her and tipped his head back as he downed the thing in one go. Suzie took a small sip from her's as she watched the man chug. As soon as the foul liquid touched her tongue, she immediately spit it back into the glass. She forced a smile at the man and wiped the foam from her mouth. The drink was horred!

A hand suddenly clamped down her shoulder, causing her to jump. She turned to find Bucky, dressed in his fancy uniform, standing behind her.

"Can I talk to you? Alone?" Bucky asked.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Suzie set her glass down and slipped off the bar stool.

The man with the mustache called after her. "See ya around, right Riley! It's Riley, right?"

"Yeah," Suzie replied without turning around. She hoped that she would never see him again.

Bucky and Suzie stopped outside in the back of the bar. It was silent except for the occasional cricket chirping somewhere hidden. The moon was shining brightly, so there was no need for any other source of light.

Bucky took a deep breath and looked around. He sighed and stared down at his sister. Suzie felt like something was coming, and it wasn't good.

"First you sign up for the army, which is illegal. And then you underage drink?! What's wrong with you?" Bucky questioned.

"It was only a small sip. I didn't swallow it! Besides, I was disgusting!" Suzie snapped.

Bucky huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. The pins on his uniform glittered in the moonlight. His hat sat crookedly on his mess of brown hair. "You could get into serious trouble if they catch you. Anyone associated with you could get into trouble. Steve told me about your conversation that you two had. You made him promise to keep your secret, am I right?"

"Yes," Suzie said timidly. She hated being scolded.

"You know how Steve hates lying."

"Didn't he enlist under several different names? Isn't that lying _and illegal?"_ Suzie prodded.

Bucky hesitated. "That's different."

"How? How is that different? Is it because he's a _man_ and I'm just a stupid, petty woman who should stay home and make dinner?" Suzie questioned.

"Suzie, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean? I'm not going back to Brooklyn. There's nothing to go back too! If I help fight for the Allies, then we can go home sooner. You and me! And Steve!"

Bucky shook his head. "No."

"No?"

"I can't let you do this."

"Why not?!"

"Because it's dangerous! You think that joining the army is easy, huh? You already fell and that's not the worst part. It's not easy to look someone in the eyes and put a bullet in their head, even if they are on the opposite side that you're fighting for. They have a family and a wife and kids. Taking another human being's life is terrible. You feel guilty for every life you take."

"They obviously don't care about us. They captured you and did who knows what! You never did tell me what happened at the Hydra base," Suzie said.

She seemed to have struck a nerve. Bucky bit his bottom lip and cleared his throat. "That's none of your business to know."

"Yes it is. I'm your _sister_! Please Bucky! You have to let me do this!"

"No! I understand why you would want to enlist because I was missing, but I'm back and I'm safe. Go home."

"You can't make me," Suzie said stubbornly.

"Yes I can."

No you can't. And don't pull that "I'm older than you so you have to listen to me" crap. I can handle myself."

"Suzie, you don't understand how dangerous this is. And I _can_ tell you what to do. I'm older than you by seven years and I have a lot more experience in the army than you do. I know what it's like to fight overseas. The bombs and the danger of dying at any second is way too high to let you go over there. If you want to help, then join the other women. They have nice jobs, and you still get to help out."

"You sound like Steve. He told me the same thing, but no. You told me that its okay to break the social norms! I'm not going to be another woman that nobody remembers! I hate being told what to do just because I'm female! Why can't you see that?"

"I can, but its dangerous! I'm not letting you follow through with your plan."

"Why?" Suzie asked. "You're not being very logical."

"Suzie…"

"WHY?!" Suzie all but shouted. Her temper was dangerously high. She felt like she was going to do something completely stupid and rash, but she didn't care. Bucky was being a pain and she didn't know why he wouldn't let her stay. "WHY?!" Suzie asked again.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T LOSE YOU!" Bucky shouted and grabbed Suzie's shoulders, unshed tears glistening in his eyes. "You're the only one I have left. You and Steve. And I don't think I can lose another person, not after what happened with mom and Corbin and Travis. I _can't._ You can't do this. Please, for me. Go home where its safe. I promise I'll come back once this war's over. Suzie, please…"

Suzie stood there in shock. Tears started forming in her own eyes. One tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it with the back of her sleeve. "I'm sorry, but no. Bucky, you should understand my commitment to our country. The United States and our allies need all the help they can get. Bucky, this is the only thing I know how to do. I don't have any other purpose," Suzie said quietly.

"Suzie," Bucky started.

"No. I am an independent woman, and I don't need you controlling my life."

"I'm not controlling you, I just don't want to put you in danger. Why can't you see that?"

"Why can't you see that you signed up for the army, so I can too?"

"Suzie, please," Bucky said.

The younger Barnes shook her head. "No. I'm staying and you can't stop me." She turned and started to walk away.

"Suzie," Bucky called, but made no move to run after her.

Suzie didn't look back.

"Suzie!" Bucky called again.

Again, no response.

"Suzannah Lily Barnes, get back here!" Bucky shouted as loud as he dared. Suzie didn't answer. She had already disappeared behind the front of the bar, no doubt heading back to Camp Leigh.

Bucky took off his hat and threw it on the ground in anger. Why couldn't Suzie listen? Why couldn't she understand how dangerous the war was? It wasn't just about the Nazis killing innocent people, it was also about Hydra. Hydra was planning something big, so big that it could win them the war. Bucky shuttered as his memories of the experiments that Doctor Arnim Zola did to him. He couldn't imagine what he would have turned into if Steve hadn't rescued him.

Bucky stared down at his mud covered hat. This war was much different than he expected, than _anyone_ expected. And there was no way in hell that he was going to let Suzie stay in the army.

Tears started rolling down his cheeks. Gosh, his sister could be so naive sometimes. Her stubbornness was going to get her killed, he just knew it. And he didn't think that he could handle losing another family member.

Bucky leaned against the side of the bar with a heavy sigh. He slid down to a sitting position and rested his head in his hands. He didn't care if someone saw him like this. He ran both his hands through his hair and wiped his eyes with the back of his jacket sleeve.

Emotions took over him, and he let the tears fall. His heart hurt as he cried. He cursed Hydra for killing his mother and brothers. He cursed the Nazis and Hitler for starting this war.

Bucky sat there until it was time to head back to camp. He stayed silent the entire ride back and once again, fell asleep crying.

 **No, I am not making Steve and Suzie a couple. They are just friends, like how Bucky and Steve are best friends. Please review! :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the wait. I'm busy with homework and the semester is coming to an end so I have to do capstones. (They are projects that basically sum up the class' subject matter. We do them in place of semester tests, which I think is stupid). Christmas break is coming up, so I will probably have more time to write and post. I'm also excited because the winter formal is coming up in a few weeks! The winter formal is a high school dance and I'm so happy because I asked my crush out and he said yes! Whoo! In my excitement, I decided to post this chapter! Enjoy! :)**

 **This chapter is dedicated to Stan Lee, for without him, I wouldn't be writing.**

 **Chapter Six: Dreams and Nightmares**

"Good morning soldiers! Rise and shine! Today's a wonderful day, so let's not waste it!" a voice called.

Suzie moaned and rolled over. Several other men in the same sleeping cabin as hers got up out of bed. Suzie rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly. She was the only one in the bed area. She slipped out of bed and hurriedly changed, always keeping an eye on the door just in case someone came in. She applied the regular makeup facial hair and pulled her hair back. She pulled a loose, gray shirt on and put a jacket on over it. She laced up her boots after she put her army assigned pants and pulled her hat low over her eyes. She decided to wait until later to use the bathroom; she didn't want to go when there was a bunch of men in there.

Breakfast consisted of eggs, sausages, and toast. It was a pretty good meal considering the state that everything was in. Suzie finished eating quickly and went back to use the bathroom. She combed her hair and fixed her makeup before going back outside.

The new recruits were milling around, waiting for commands. Suzie looked around and saw no sign of Steve or Bucky. They must have other things to do. Suzie joined the group and hugged her jacket around her. The crisp fall breeze blew a few leaves around the open camp yard. Colonel Phillips strolled across the yard. The soldiers got into a straight line and stood at attention.

"Today!" Colonel Phillips announced. He paced back and forth with his hands clasped behind his back. "We are going to practice your shooting and issue uniforms and guns to everyone. Follow me to the shooting range!"

The shooting range was an open field with targets lined up on the far end. Everyone was assigned a target and a man, probably the ammunition and weapons leader, handed everyone a rifle. The rifle was a sleek brown color and fit Suzie perfectly. She knew that the army had switched from the old rifles to the new ones. The new ones were called the M1 Garand, and worked a lot better. Colonel Phillips ordered everyone to practice handling and using the guns by shooting at the targets. Some men started firing right away. Suzie adjusted her stance and put the rifle up against her shoulder like the other men. She glanced at the soldier beside her and copied his stance and positioning. She leaned her head to the right to look through the eyepiece. She squinted and pulled the trigger.

The kickback surprised her so much that she almost dropped her gun. Her shoulder started throbbing from where the end of the gun hit her.

"Ow," Suzie complained quietly, but the man next to her heard her.

"You okay?" the man asked.

"Yeah…" Suzie winced and rolled her shoulder in an attempt to sooth the pain.

"You ever shot a gun before?" the man asked. His dark blonde hair was sticking up everywhere and a hint of a beard showed on his chin.

"No," she admitted.

The man set his gun down and held out his hand. Suzie handed him her gun and let him show her the basic parts of the rifle. She listened and started getting the hang of it when the man handed it back to her.

The next few shots were better. She held the rifle tight against her shoulder to avoid the kickback. She glanced at the target. It was hard to tell, but the bullet holes were almost right on.

"You seem like a natural," the man with the little beard remarked.

"Thanks," Suzie replied. She practiced until Colonel Phillips told everyone to take a break.

Suzie put her new gun in it's designated area and started to head back to her cabin when Colonel Phillips stopped her.

"I was watching you today," Colonel Phillips said. Suzie sucked in a deep breath. Was she finally caught? Did he know that she was a woman?

"I noticed that you seemed to handle your gun fairly well for someone so new at shooting," Colonel Phillips said.

Suzie blinked in surprise. "Thank you, sir."

"I think that you might make a good sniper. What's your name?"

"Barnes," Suzie replied. "Riley Barnes."

"Barnes? Any relation to Sergeant James Barnes?" Colonel Phillips questioned.

"Yes, sir. He's my cousin," Suzie lied. She waited for him to respond.

"Huh. Guess that shooting and good aim runs in the family. Sergeant Barnes is sniper as well. Or he's going to be."

"Going to be?" Suzie asked.

"Captain Rogers is starting up a small team that he's going to take on separate missions, but sniper position is already filled. The entire remaining members of 107th Regiment is joining his team, so that's plenty enough men. How would liked a position on the 100th Regiment instead?"

The 100th? It was unbelievable. Suzie heard that the members were only recruited by the Colonel himself. There was no other way onto that team.

"Yes! I mean, yes sir. I would like to join," Suzie replied.

"Good. Pack your bags. We ship out tomorrow."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"She just won't listen!" Bucky complained. He was sitting in his old cabin that he had before he went overseas. He was alone with Steve. Steve was sitting on another bed and let his friend rant.

"I just don't understand! I told her that its dangerous, but she so stubborn! Why won't listen she listen to me?" Bucky flopped backwards on his bed with a groan. "Why?!"

"Maybe you are being too hard on her," Steve said calmly.

Bucky sat back up. "Too hard? I've tried reasoning with her. I told her that its illegal and risky. She's putting everyone at risk here, but she doesn't give a damn. That's the problem. She doesn't care!"

"I'm sure she does, Bucky. You just have to-"

"Do what? I've tried everything that I can think of. I can't lose her. Not after what happened with Travis and Corbin…"

Steve rested a hand on Bucky's leg, making Bucky to look into Steve's eyes. "I know that you want to protect her, but maybe the best thing is to let her do what she wants. Suzie is a lot like you. She looks up to you. You don't support her ideas and dreams, imagine how she feels right now. I'm sure she understands the risk she's taking, but Suzie is loyal and smart. She knows what she's doing, and I can tell that she can handle it."

"I just can't watch her all the time. I can't stand not knowing where she is and if she's alright every minute. Can't you talk to her?" Bucky asked.

"I'm busy with putting the Howling Commandos together, but maybe I can try to find time to talk to her," Steve said.

"The Howling Commandos," Bucky thought aloud. "What if she joins us? Then I can keep an eye on her."

"Do you really want her partaking in more dangerous missions than the army already does?" Steve asked.

Bucky thought for a moment. "No, but I have no other ideas. I'm completely clueless on what to do. Ugh! Why are women so difficult?"

"Suzie is a young woman. She has grown up a lot. Let her make her own decisions."

"I know that, but dad asked me to take care of everyone. I'm _supposed_ to be the man of the household. How the hell am I supposed to manage that if no one listens to me and my family is practically all dead?!"

"Bucky…"

Bucky froze, his eyes glistening with tears. Sobs started shaking through him. "They're dead. All of them. Suzie is the only family I have left, and I'm about to lose her to the freaking army! Steve, I don't know what to do!"

Steve stood up and moved to sit beside his friend. He let Bucky lean into him and wrap his arms around the blonde. Bucky cried into Steve's chest while Steve tried to calm him down.

"Shh. It's okay. We'll figure this out, Bucky. I'll talk to Suzie tomorrow. If she doesn't listen, then we will think of something. Get some rest. You are still recovering from whatever Doctor Zola did," Steve said quietly.

Bucky let Steve go and rolled over onto his stomach. He buried his face into his pillow, and was soon snoring. Steve tucked the blanket around his friend's shoulders and went off to tend to his new 'captain' duties.

Golly, this was one tough situation that Steve never thought that he had to solve.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

Nightmares plagued Bucky all night long. At first the dreams were harmless and were just about him and Steve playing catch at Brooklyn's baseball diamonds at the park. Then things got worse.

 _Bucky was eleven when Corbin was born. Suzie and Travis were playing tag outside. Steve was leaning against a tree and drawing in his sketchbook._

 _Henry, Bucky's father, had sat him down in the living room to talk. Bucky's eyes wandered to the window, where he could see his siblings and friend enjoy the summer sun. His mother, Lacey, was upstairs napping, since it was exhausting to move around when she was pregnant. Bucky was alone with his father._

 _Henry placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder. They had the same hair color and a strong build._

 _"You know that I'm going back to serve in the war, right?" Henry asked._

 _Bucky nodded._

 _"When I'm gone, you have to take care of everyone. Your mother is going to need help, especially since she's expecting a baby anytime soon. You make sure that Suzie and Travis get their homework done on time and that Steve gets home safely. Your mother won't be able to work when the baby's born, so you might have to get a job. You're the man of the household when I'm gone, right kiddo?" Henry explained._

 _Bucky nodded. At the time, he thought it was going to be fun to be the 'man of the household,' but as time went on and Henry was killed in action, Bucky realized that it was much tougher than he expected._

 _Bucky ended up working whenever he didn't have school. He spend some time selling newspapers and other small jobs. Steve helped out as much as he could, but Bucky was the only being paid. It was hard to work almost constantly, but he still managed to find time to have fun. He got a better job with a lot more freedom and pay when he was older. Lacey was a teacher at Bucky's school, but the pay wasn't the best. It was still challenging at times, but the Barnes family never went bankrupt because of Bucky's and Lacey's combined earnings._

The dream shifted and Bucky found himself staring at an all too familiar white ceiling.

 _"What is your name?" a voice from somewhere above him asked._

 _"James Barnes of the 107th Regiment," Bucky responded defiantly._

 _"You are wrong," the voice said, and suddenly a face peered down at him. Bucky stared up at the round face with glasses. He had only been here for a few days, but Bucky already knew the man's name - Doctor Zola._

 _"You have no name. You are the Asset," Doctor Zola added._

 _Bucky struggled against his bindings. He looked to his right and saw that Doctor Zola had a needle in his hand._

 _"This might hurt a little," Doctor Zola continued in his annoying German accent._

 _Zola pushed the needle into the side of Bucky's neck. Bucky gasped as he felt the liquid enter his body._

 _"What the hell was that for?" Bucky questioned and tried again to sit up._

 _"Just something to help convince you," Doctor Zola answered._

 _Bucky didn't have time to ponder over the question. His vision turned blurry and his head started throbbing. The drugs in the needle took over, and Bucky passed out._

 _The next few weeks were full of needles, blood, and lots and lots of scientists or doctors. Bucky was poked, prodded, and everything else in between. He was strapped down on a table when a familiar face swam into view._

 _Steve yanked the leather straps that were holding Bucky down away and helped his friend up. Bucky's mind cleared, but the espace was still a foggy mess. All that he could remember was the Hydra base blowing up and that he had his much taller friend by his side._

Bucky whimpered in his sleep as the nightmares wracked his brain. He tried to forget about what happened at the Hydra base, but he couldn't forget that Hydra was going to turn him into a weapon if Steve hadn't intervened.

Bucky suddenly sat up with a gasp. A weapon! That was what Hydra wanted. The Allies had Captain America on their side; it was no wonder that Hydra wanted something to rival that.

Sweat glistened on Bucky's forehead, making his hair stick to it. He had to tell Steve. He glanced around the cabin. Other soldiers were fast asleep since it was around three in the morning. Steve's bed was empty.

Bucky got up and slipped his boots on. He pulled his on jacket and went in search of Steve. He wandered around for a while before he found Steve in the main cabin.

He knocked on the door and entered.

"What are you doing up?" Bucky asked as he leaned against the closed door.

Steve looked up from a file he was reading. "I could ask you the same thing," he said.

Bucky smiled and sat down at the opposite side of the table. He picked up a file folder and held it up questioningly towards Steve.

"Are you authorized to look at these?" Bucky asked and gestured at the neatly arranged stacks of files.

"I believe so," Steve replied and flipped through the folder that was marked "Banned Soldiers."

"What's with the research?"

"I'm trying to find previous people who were kicked out of the army and if there are any consequences for lying and deceiving your way in," Steve stated.

"Like Suzie?"

"Just like Suzie. She's not allowed to be a soldier."

"Which I think is a bit unfair towards women, but I still don't want Suzie here," Bucky said. He started skimming through the folder in his hands.

"I highly doubt that there are severe punishments if you are caught," Steve added.

"Yeah," Bucky gave a small laugh. "They probably-most likely- won't put her on death row if they find out, but I still believe that it will be bad for her _and_ us if she's caught."

"The army has strict rules for a reason. They won't let just anyone in because they want too. They have to make sure that all recruits are in perfect condition to fight and meet certain guidelines, and sadly, being a man is one of them."

"Suzie is perfectly capable of fighting, just like any other man," Bucky stated.

"I'm not saying that she's not…" Steve began.

"Suzie is strong and independent woman. She can handle herself in any fight."

"Now you're defending her," Steve said.

"If she wants to join the army, who's stopping her?" Bucky asked.

"Well, technically you and me."

"You're right, but I have zero control over what she does. If we are going to convince her to go back home, we have to think of a better tactic instead of we're using. Rules and discipline won't stop her. If she gets caught, she'll just find another way back in. Once she sets her mind to something, _nothing_ will change her mind. _Nothing._ And I have no freaking clue on how to make her go home!" Bucky tossed the folder onto the table and leaned back in his chair.

"What if we let her follow through with her plans? If she serves overseas, then maybe she will understand how dangerous it is. We can't keep an eye on her all the time, but she's smart. She probably won't try anything risky if she knows the consequences and the high risk of danger," Steve suggested.

Bucky chewed on his lip in thought. "I don't know. I still don't like it, but I am completely out of ideas."

"I overheard Colonel Phillips talking about the 100th Regiment shipping out tomorrow. They were in need of a sniper. I saw Suzie over by the shooting range. She's got a good aim."

"Are you saying that Suzie is the sniper for the 100th?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know for sure, but it seems like it."

Bucky groaned and rubbed his eyes. "What the heck are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Bucky, I just don't know. I tried to find other files on how to kick someone out of the army, but none of it's helpful."

"If she knew the dangers…" Bucky began. "I mean, it's not just the Nazis anymore. There are other risks, one of them Hydra. Hydra is practically an elite version of the the Nazis, and much more deadly. They won't stop at nothing to gain power and kill those who are in their way."

"Did you tell Suzie about what happened?" Steve asked.

"No. It's a bit personal." Bucky scratched the back of his head.

"She's your _sister_ , Bucky. She deserves to know. And who knows, maybe it will make her go back to Brooklyn."

"I doubt it. You know how she is. If anything, it will make her _want_ to stay and fight."

"It's worth a try."

Bucky paused and stared out the window. The stars and moon were shining brightly, so there was no need for any more light besides the candle on the table. Nobody else was up; they were all fast asleep, which seemed like a good idea but Bucky didn't want to endure more nightmares.

"I was thinking," Bucky said, dropping his voice to a whisper despite Steve being the only one in the room. "What Doctor Zola did to me, I'm pretty sure that he would have turned me into something scary if you hadn't showed up."

"What are you trying to say?" Steve asked.

"I think that Hydra is trying to recreate the Super Soldier Serum. It failed on Johann Schmidt, but if they used someone with better morals, than it might not fail. I've been through their 'program.' They're trying to make a super soldier from someone who has a high chance of surviving and then brainwashing them into listening to their orders. I'm not completely sure, but they were about to move me over to Russia to complete the 'program.' Hydra is going to make a super soldier army consisting of human weapons."

Steve froze. Terror crept onto his face. "They can't be!"

"Who's stopping them? This war has turned upside down ever since you became Captain America. The Nazis had to counteract that, but you're not enough. Hydra is a lot more advanced than us."

"That's why I'm starting the Howling Commandos. We are going to be specialized in more advanced missions."

"Do you really think that a small group of men is going to take down one of the Nazis' largest and most dangerous organizations?"

"We have to at least try. There is a higher chance to succeed if we try instead of giving up without even starting."

"I'm hope you're right," Bucky said. He stood up and pushed his chair in.  
"I don't want Suzie to know about this."

"She deserves to know," Steve pressed. "You know you can't keep secrets from her."

"I can at least try," Bucky shot back. "I can't tell her everything. Everyone needs their privacy."

"Bucky, this is different! The whole world is in effect here!"

"I'm sure she'll find out by herself. Hydra isn't exactly into keeping it subtle. The _whole world_ is in danger if we don't stop them, and I don't Suzie in the middle of this. If she finds out, she'll want to help thus putting her in danger."

"Did you really say _'thus?'"_ Steve asked.

"Shut up," Bucky snapped, but a hint of a smile showed on his face. He cleared his throat and the smile disappeared. "Please, Steve. I don't want to her to know."

Steve seemed to deflate in his chair. "Fine, but you can't keep this from her forever."

"I tell her when she's - when _I'm_ ready," Bucky said. With that, he opened the door with a hint of his old flourish and left Steve alone in the cabin.

Steve placed his head in his hands and sighed. Being a captain had a whole new meaning in this war- a meaning that he was _not_ prepared for.

 **More coming soon! Please leave a review! I would appreciate it! :)**


	8. Chapter 7

**December 9th, 1924 is Suzie's birthday. Happy Birthday, Suzie! Hope you enjoy! :)**

 **Chapter Seven: Whatever Floats Your Boat**

Suzie shipped out early that morning. She barely had time to say goodbye to Bucky and Steve. She packed her few belongings and went in search of her brother and friend.

Bucky was alone in his bunk cabin. He was clearly moping around while he took his gun apart and put it back together again. Bucky always busied himself with useless tasks whenever he was upset. Suzie knew from experience that it helped take her mind off of whatever was bothering her.

Suzie knocked on the side of the cabin door. Bucky looked up from putting his gun together for the fifth time.

"Suzie? What are you doing here?" Bucky asked.

Suzie walked over and sat next to her brother on the bed. She dropped her baggage next to the bed. "I wanted to say goodbye. I'm shipping out in an hour. I was going to tell you…."

"I already know. You are the sniper for the 100th Regiment," Bucky interrupted.

"How?" Suzie asked.

"Steve told me," Bucky explained.

"Bucky, I was going to tell you but I was just told about it yesterday."

"I understand. Things move so fast in the army. You must be really good if Colonel Phillips chose you so quickly."

Suzie smiled. "I'll never be better than you. I heard some stories of how accurate your aim is."

"Yeah, well, most of them are exaggerated. You can't believe everything these men tell you. We're quite sufficient liars," Bucky joked.

Suzie laughed and pulled the gun from Bucky's grasp before he took it apart again. She turned to face him. "I know that you don't want me in the army…"

"I don't," Bucky interrupted and turned to look at his sister.

"I know, but I _need_ to do this. America and our allies need all the help they can get. It doesn't matter if its a man or a woman who is fighting. All that matters is that _someone_ is fighting."

"Suzie, I _never_ told you that you couldn't do something just because you are a woman. I fully understand your decision, but there are people out there who don't agree with you. They think that women belong at home, taking care of the children and cooking and sewing. I have told you several times that breaking the social norms and being a rebel is okay, but it's also dangerous. It's especially dangerous overseas. People won't stop and let you live just because you are a woman. The Nazis don't care. They want control and they are so biased against certain people to a point where it is considered insane. Suzie, I hope you realize how dangerous your decision is. If the army catches you, there's no telling how much trouble you will be in- that Steve and I will be in," Bucky explained, his blue eyes full of concern.

Suzie attempted a smile, but it quickly faded. "I know, Bucky, I know. But it's worth the risk, right?"

"I guess we _are_ related," Bucky muttered.

Suzie laughed and punched Bucky's arm playfully. Bucky grinned and pushed Suzie over. She fell on her back on the bed and giggled.

"Now, _you_ started it," Bucky said.

The laughter died down as the seriousness of the situation settled in. Suzie wrapped her arms around Bucky and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I'll miss you," Suzie whispered.

Bucky pulled her closer and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I know. I'll miss you too."

The two sat in silence, soaking in each other's presence. None of them wanted to break the embrace, but the hour was ticking down.

Suzie reluntly pulled away. "I guess I should going," she said and got up. She grabbed her bags and headed for the door.

"Hey sis," Bucky called after her, causing Suzie to turn around. "Be careful out there."

"I will if you do too," Suzie replied.

"And come back _alive_. I don't care if you are missing limbs or whatever, I just want my sister back," Bucky said.

"I will."

 **/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

The coast soon disappeared as the ship pulled away from the harbor. Suzie stood on the top deck and watched the land fade into the horizon. The water splashed against the side of the ship in a continuous rhythm that was almost memorizing. A few members of the 100th Regiment wandered around the top deck as well. They were given the first couple days to settle in, and Suzie tried to make the most of her little break.

Suzie couldn't help wondering what Bucky was doing know. He had told her that he was going back since he was cleared from the infirmary. He didn't say where, but she figured it was somewhere more dangerous than where she was going since the 107th Regiment was disbanded because a majority of the regiment was killed long before the remaining were captured.

Suzie stepped away from the railing and wandered back down to her bunk. The close confinements was something that she had to get used to, but at least she didn't have to share a bed with anyone. That was one thing that she was nervous about, but at least that part never came true. There was no one else in her bunking area expect for a ginger-haired man that was about her age. He looked up as Suzie came in.

"How ya like the ship? It's a new one," the man said.

Suzie shrugged and climbed onto her bed that was beside the ginger's own bed. She unzipped her bag and dug around until she found her journal. She opened the cover and stared at the family photo that she had taped to the inside of the front cover. It was a black and white photo of her brothers, mother, Steve, and herself. Steve was all but adopted into the family since he sent pretty much all of his time with Bucky. Her father had his own photo taped below it because he died before Corbin was born.

Suzie didn't notice that the man was staring at the photo as well.

"That your family?" the man asked.

Suzie nodded and sighed.

"It's alright to miss them. I've got a girl at home who probably misses me. I miss her too. I was planning on proposing to her once I get back," the man explained. "That you?" The man pointed to Bucky.

Suzie blinked and then nodded. Golly, she _must_ look a lot like her brother.

"It's alright. They'll be alright."

" _I hope,"_ Suzie thought.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" the man asked.

Suzie shook her head. She couldn't risk talking since her voice wasn't as deep as the average man's.

"That's alright. I'm Richard, Richard Miller." Richard extended his hand and Suzie shook.

"Riley Barnes," Suzie said in a voice that was deeper than her normal voice.

"Well, nice ta meet ya, Riley," Richard said. "You're a sniper, right?"

Suzie nodded and tucked her journal back into her bag. Richard seemed like he wasn't going to stop talking any time soon. Usually Suzie didn't have a problem socializing or talking with anyone, but right now she just wanted to be left alone.

"That's great! I'm the other sniper. We can be sniper buddies!" Richard exclaimed, breaking out into a wide grin.

"Yay…," Suzie muttered. "How exciting."

Richard took this as a sign to continue talking. "We can hang out and work together! We can also keep an eye out for other shooters. I've got your back, you've got mine, right?"

"Sure," Suzie said. She wished that Richard would shut up so she could write.

"Where are you from?" Richard suddenly asked.

"Brooklyn," Suzie replied. "Born and raised."

"Aw, that's nice. I'm from New Hampshire; Greenland, New Hampshire. It's not as big as New York City," Richard explained. "It's a nice little town. My parents went to New Hampshire for their honeymoon, but they fell in love with the state, so they stayed. My sister and I were born there. I've lived there all my life. Once this is over, I just want to go home and visit, propose to my girl, and start a family." Richard fell silent and stared at the opposite wall.

Suzie didn't know what to say, so she gently patted him on the back.

Richard's silence passed and he continued talking about everything from his life to the weather in Europe. Suzie sat and listened. Richard was talkative, yes, but he seemed like a good person. It would nice to have someone to talk to during her time overseas. At least she didn't have to do this alone anymore.

 **I ship _no one_ in this story except Peggy and Steve. (Peggy is not in this story, but it may be implied or referenced in future chapters.) Please review! I want to know what you think about this story so far. Is it good? Are there any suggestions? Leave a review so I can hear what you are thinking about this story. :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**Sorry about the wait, but I now have more free time since the semester is over and I'm not doing basketball anymore. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter Eight: Bullets and Lakes**

Her first mission was a lot harder than she expected. They had landed on some beach in Europe and had a day to adjust to the Allies' base camp over there. Suzie ended up sharing a bunk bed with Richard- she had the top, he had the bottom bunk. Everyone woke up early that morning and got ready to head out. Apparently, there was a Nazi camp not too far away and they had to take care of it. It was practically a raid, but there were a few captives that they had to rescue.

Suzie woke up, got dressed, and ate long before everyone else in the 100th woke up. Richard woke up with a groan as Suzie was loading her sniper rifle.

"Good morning," Richard yawned.

"Morning," Suzie replied. "You ready?"

"Heck no! I just woke up! Give me five minutes," Richard said and jumped out of bed. He _did_ get ready in around five minutes, and he was eating breakfast and loading his gun at the same time. His ginger-colored hair was sticking up in places, and a five o'clock shadow was clear on his face.

The 100th left as soon as possible, and in no time, Suzie was standing on a sparkling beach. Waves rolled on and off the sand in a memorizing fashion. Richard stepped up beside Suzie and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Suzie asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just the first mission's nervous jitters, that's all," Richard replied and shook himself loose.

Suzie smiled. "I know how you feel."

Suzie hefted her gun and followed the other members of the 100th up the beach. She didn't take time to take in her surroundings, but this was definitely somewhere she would like to visit under different circumstances.

They were walking for about an hour when the regiment leader signaled for everyone to get down. Suzie dropped to her stomach and watched intently as select few inched forward above the hill.

"Clear!" the leader shouted and the group was off again.

Suzie's feet started hurting halfway through the second hour of walking. She couldn't think of a time when she had ever done this much walking all at once. The rough terrain and the added weight on her back didn't help either. Once, she almost stumbled, but she caught herself. Richard noticed and fell behind to her stride.

"You okay?" Richard asked. Sweat was glistening on his forehead and his face was almost as red as his hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tripped on a rock," Suzie muttered and looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful but painfully hot day. She adjusted her helmet and wiped her forehead with her sleeve.

"It happens…" Richard began but he was cut off by a loud whistling-like sound. The whistle ended with a dull "thud" on the ground inches in front of their feet.

"What the-" Richard started.

"GET DOWN!" Suzie shouted and tackled Richard to the ground. They landed in a dusty tangle of legs and arms just as several more bullets shot over their heads. The two snipers watched in horror as those few bullets found new homes in a couple of their comrades' heads.

"We're under attack!" the leader shouted. Those left standing fell into position and started firing in the direction the bullets were being shot from.

"Get somewhere high," Richard shouted above the noise.

"High?! Why?!" Suzie called back.

"You'll get a clearer shot!" Richard replied and started to climb a nearby tree.

Suzie looked around and dashed for a tree next to Richard's. She scaled it easily and shimmied onto a thick branch. She took off her backpack and hooked it onto another branch. She set up her sniper rifle and laid down on her stomach. It was hard work keeping her balance, but she eventually set her scope in and found an enemy soldier hiding in the bushes. Richard was right, it was a much better vantage point from up here.

Suzie peered through her scope as she watched the soldier. He was firing his own rifle directly at the 100th. That was odd. How did the Allies' enemies know that they were going to raid a Nazi base? Someone must have tipped them off.

Suzie looked through her scope again. The soldier was reloading. Nobody must have noticed him since no one was firing back. Suzie's finger rested on the trigger. She knew that it was her job to shoot enemies from a long range, but she was hesitant about taking another human's life. She was taught at church that it was a sin to kill others. But the Nazis did it first and they had to be stopped.

Suzie took a deep breath, aimed, and fired. She watched as the bullet struck, dropping the soldier.

Suzie shook her head to clear her thoughts. She tried to push her doubts away. She had signed up for this; she was going to go through with it.

Suzie scanned the area. She found the Nazi base located not too far from where she was laying. It was maybe a few hundred meters out, tucked away behind some trees and brush. Using her scope, she could see someone standing in the window. The man had a gun aimed at someone's head. She couldn't see who it was since the person was kneeling, but she could tell that the kneeling person was being held against their will.

Then it hit her. The man with the gun was a Nazi and the person who was kneeling was one of the captives that the 100th Regiment came to free! The Nazis must have been killing the captives to clear away information that the captives could use against them.

Suzie turned back to battlefield. They had orders to shoot on sight; that included Nazi superior officers who worked and lived at the base.

Suzie aimed her rifle back at the window. The captive was crying and she could tell that the captive was a woman. Anger rushed through Suzie's body. How dare the Nazis kill innocent people! She _had_ to defend her people, and those people included everyone that the Allies were trying to save.

The Nazi officer's finger twitched as he slowly squeezed the trigger. Suzie saw the man grin. He was enjoying this!

This time, there was no hesitation. The bullet hit the officer right before he pulled the trigger. He fell down and didn't get back up. Another Nazi rushed to his aid, but it was too late. The captive looked around in confusion. Suzie smiled, she had saved an innocent's life and she was going to finish this battle.

The battle lasted only a few minutes longer. Suzie ended up shooting at least ten more enemies before the tide turned back to the 100th and they managed to raid the base. The few living Nazis were taken captive and hauled back for interrogation.

Suzie watched from a distance as the captives were released and an American flag was lifted above the building. The flag snapped and waved in the wind. Suzie grinned and gave the flag a salute. She was a proud member of the 100th Regiment, and she was willing to sacrifice her life for the goodness of her country and for those who were unable to defend themselves.

The group celebrated their win by taking the night off. They had set up a camp not too far from the Nazi's building. Suzie decided to go clean up in the lake that she had spotted from her sniper tree.

Nobody else was around as she waded into the lake. The water was warm enough and clean. Suzie swam closer to the sandy island that sat in the lake She was just tall enough to touch the bottom. It was nice and quiet. The sun was going down, and she could hear the excited voices cheering and celebrating at the camp.

Suzie ducked under the water and watched a small fish swim by. She smiled and came back up to the surface.

"Hey Riley! I didn't know you were here!" a voice called, startling her.

Suzie spun around in the water until she located the person. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she saw Richard standing on the beach.

"Hi Richard," Suzie said, her hands flying to her chest. No man would ever see her naked; not if she had something to do about it.

"Is the water nice?" Richard asked. Suzie nodded, but she hoped that Richard would leave. She was kind of stuck in the water until then. "Mind if I join ya?"

Without waiting for an answer, Richard had already discarded his clothes and waded into the lake. Suzie's eyes widen in shock. She was _not_ expecting men to be this comfortable with other men.

Richard swam over to Suzie. Suzie, with her chest strategically kept underwater with her hands covering herself, backed away.

"Aw, come on! You shy?" Richard asked.

Suzie stayed silent and backed away further. She tried to hide her face since the makeup had washed off.

"Hey." Richard grabbed the top of Suzie's arm. Suzie yanked it away and scowled. "Come on, man. Lighten up! You were _great_ out there! I mean, I didn't see the officer! It was a bold move to shoot the officer, but it worked out just fine. Why are you so upset?"

"I prefer to be alone when I'm bathing," Suzie retorted and turned away.

" _Riley_ ," Richard all but whined. "You're gonna have to get used to it. I hear soldiers bathe together all the time. It's normal!"

To prove his point, Richard motioned towards the beach. A few more soldiers had waded into the lake and others still were taking off their clothes. Whoops and hollers broke the silence of the night.

Blood rushed to Suzie's face. It was a terrifying sight. The only man she had ever seen naked was her little brother, Corbin. And that was because she needed help taking baths since it usually took two people to hold him down long enough to be cleaned. It was normal for her and her whole family to help him take a bath so she was fine with it.

However, the one thing that was _not_ normal was the fact that she was the only woman in a lake full of men. Suzie hunched down and tried to shield her eyes. Richard kept trying to talk to her, but Suzie ignored him. She pushed him away and tried to find an escape route. There was a small path between some cottontails. When Richard had his back turned, Suzie swam as fast as she could towards the path and hid in the weeds. Luckily, her towel and clothes were in arms reach. She quickly dried herself off and slipped into her clothes.

The voices faded as Suzie walked back to base camp. She breathed a sigh of relief as she crawled into her tent that she shared with Richard.

Suzie sat down and started combing her hair in silence, thinking, " _I_ never _want to see another naked man ever again!_ "

 **The scene from the lake is based a little off of Mulan. Suzie and Milan are similar and I kind of based Suzie off of Mulan. Please leave a review. I am open to any type of constructive criticism. More chapters coming soon!**


	10. Chapter 9

**I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas or Holiday break. I know I am. I am so glad that the semester is over and I don't have to worry about homework until January 3rd. This chapter is sadder than the others. It ties right in with _Captain America: The First Avenger_. Also, there is some language/swearing used.**

 **Chapter Nine: Brother's Keeper**

Other missions came and went. Every mission hardly had any casualties and they were usually successful. Richard and Suzie grew closer, close enough that Suzie considered him her friend and they hardly went anywhere without each other. At first Suzie was hesitant to make friends, but she found it easier to keep her cover if someone was watching her back. She hadn't told Richard that she was a woman, but nobody had questioned her yet. She knew it was only a matter of time until she was caught, but as of now, she was going to serve her country as freely as she could.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Suzie made a habit to write to Bucky at least once a week. Bucky wrote back, telling her most of what was going on with him. He and Steve had gone on countless missions; all of them successful. He still wouldn't go into details about the missions, but Suzie brushed it off as him being careful just in case the letter was intercepted.

Then one day, the letters stopped. Suzie hoped that Bucky was just on mission and was too busy to write. Her hope quickly faded as the week passed with no letter. Suzie wrote to him, but never got a response.

Suzie tried to stay positive, but she couldn't help worrying. The missions that she went on helped keep her mind off of Bucky. Suzie got injured once - a small bullet wound on her shoulder - that only left her in the infirmary for a week. As she laid in bed, her mind wandered over to Bucky. She had tried to write to Steve, with no luck.

A letter came a few weeks after Bucky's silence. Suzie practically sprinted to the camp's mail room once she heard that she had gotten a letter.

Suzie checked her mailbox, and sure enough, a small envelope lay in the box. Suzie grabbed it and headed back to her cabin. She opened the envelope and started to read the letter. It was addressed to Riley Barnes with a return address from the US Army.

The letter said:

 _Dear Riley Barnes,_

 _I regret to inform you the loss of your cousin, James. It is really tragic to pay for the country's defense for the loss of your cousin. I tried to write to his mother, only to find that you are the only surviving family member left._

 _James gave his life for the good of our country. He was on a mission to capture a Nazi scientist and fell from a moving train and down cliff. Search teams tried to recover his body, but nothing was found._

 _The United States of America and its allies thank you and your cousin for their service. James was a good soldier, and an even better man. Once again, I am sorry for your loss._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Colonel Chester Phillips_

The letter fluttered from Suzie's hand.

"No," Suzie whispered in shock. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't!

Suzie's vision went blurry as tears filled her eyes.

"No, no, no!" Suzie cried. Her legs gave out and she collapsed to her knees.

Richard noticed Suzie kneeling on the ground and came over to investigate.

"Hey," Richard said and placed a hand on her back. "Are you okay?"

Suzie looked up and sniffed. "Bucky…" she muttered.

"Bucky? Your cousin?" Richard asked. Suzie nodded. Richard looked at the open letter on the ground. Tears stains were splattered on the thin paper. "Oh, Riley! I'm so sorry!"

Suzie wrapped her arms around Richard and cried into his shoulder. Richard hugged her close and tried to comfort her.

"Maybe we should go somewhere a bit more comfortable instead of sitting on the ground in the middle of camp," Richard suggested. A few soldiers were staring at the two.

Suzie nodded and let Richard lead her back to their cabin. Her body moved numbly as Richard made her sit down and drink a glass of water. How could it be true? First Travis, Corbin, and her mother? And then Bucky? Why must she endure so much loss?

Suzie wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming. Richard sat in silence for once and let her cry.

Suzie was in so much grief that she didn't notice that her tears were washing away the makeup on her cheeks. Suzie wiped a tear off her cheek, smearing the fake stubble. Richard noticed this and squinted to get a better look.

"What the heck, Riley?" Richard all but shouted. He had never noticed that Riley/Suzie never had stubble when it was raining, but seeing it in person and up close, Richard had suspicions about his friend.

Suzie stopped crying to glance at Richard. "What?" she sniffed.

"Your _facial hair._ It's not _real_!" Richard exclaimed.

Suzie froze. She knew that her disguise wasn't the best, but she wasn't expecting to get caught this soon. "Richard, please," Suzie begged. At least they were alone. Most of the soldiers were outside enjoying the sunshine and free time.

"You're not Riley, are you?" Richard questioned. "Who are you?"

"Richard," Suzie sighed. It was too late to try and regain her cover. She took her sleeve and wiped off the makeup. She let her hair down and stared at Richard.

"My name is Suzannah Barnes. You can call me Suzie, though. Bucky is not my cousin, he's my older brother," Suzie explained.

"You're a woman?!" Richard shouted. "What the hell?! You're not allowed to be here! Gosh, I've been hanging out with a woman?"

"Richard, please. I enlisted to save my brother. Bucky was captured and I wanted to rescue him since the US army wasn't doing much."

"Why don't you go home?"

"I can't. My mother and other brothers were killed by Nazi spies when we were holding a memorial for all those who were captured. Bucky was the only surviving family member left. Well, he was…" Tears flowed again.

"So Riley Barnes doesn't exist?"

Suzie sighed and took a deep breath to control her emotions. "He did. Riley was my cousin. He died from pneumonia a few years ago."

"Wow," Richard said.

"Please Richard. I can't go home. I have nowhere to go and I want to help take down the Nazis. I can't risk losing my cover," Suzie begged.

"You're a woman?"

"Yes! And I didn't want to tell you since my cover could have been blown."

"And you're a sniper. Do you know how many enemies you took out?"

Suzie shrugged. "No."

"A lot," Richard replied. "A woman. Wow! You are a woman who has probably killed more Nazis than most soldiers have. A woman who is a member of the 100th Regiment." Richard shook his head in disbelief.

"Please don't tell anyone," Suzie said.

"You're pretty badass, you know that?"

Suzie stopped and stared at Richard. His brown eyes were shining with excitement. "What?"

"You. Are. _Badass_. You're amazing! A hero! Huh, who would have thought that a woman would be a freaking sniper? Of the 100th Regiment? Do you know how hard it is for a man just to even think about joining the 100th? It's really hard!" Richard ran a hand through his hair. "Wow. Just wow!"

Suzie raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm sorry. I don't know what you are trying to say."

"What I'm trying to say is that you, Suzie, are _amazing!_ Of course I will keep your secret. It'll just be between us two. Man, if I wasn't in a relationship right now, I would be so jealous of any man who marries you! I bet all the men would be lining up the block if they knew about you. Damn, you're badass _and_ pretty! I don't know why I didn't notice before. I mean, you're disguise wasn't _that_ good, but it fooled me and probably everyone else. Wow!"

Suzie let out a small laugh and wiped her eyes again. "Thank you, I guess."

"Hey," Richard hugged Suzie. "I'll keep your secret; I promise. After all, you _are_ my friend and partner; we're sniper buddies!"

"Yeah. Sniper buddies," Suzie muttered.

"Riley-I mean, Suzie, I'm sorry about your brother."

Suzie broke down crying again. "You're the only one I have left. You and Steve."

"Steve?" Richard asked.

"Bucky's friend, who just so happens to be Captain America."

"Captain America?! You know Captain America?"

"He's a childhood friend. Bucky and Steve were close, so close. I can't imagine how Steve feels about-"

Suzie sobbed. Richard held her close. "We'll get through this. We're going to be okay. We'll go and kill those Nazi bastards who caused this."

Suzie let Richard ramble on with his threats. What she wanted more than anything was that World War Two never even started. It was all Hitler's fault. It was his fault that Suzie's family was murdered. Suzie swore that she would get her revenge; justice for Bucky and everyone else who gave their lives defending their country against evil.

This was why she enlisted into army. The Nazis had better watch out.

 **More chapters coming soon! Please review! BTW, I don't ship Richard and Suzie. I thought about it, but Richard is engaged with another woman and I wanted Suzie to be independent and different from other women in her era.**


	11. Chapter 10

**It has been a while since I've updated. A lot of things have been going on. My younger brother broke his collarbone playing basketball last Saturday. I've had to help him out. I also was busy with running and a surprise birthday party for one of my cousins. I also got Confirmed yesterday, so I'm really tired of socializing. I finally had time to lost today since I had the day off from school. Please read and review. I'd greatly appreciate it.**

 **Disclaimer: I hold nothing against Russians or anyone else. I'm just basing it off of the time period this story is set in.**

 **Chapter Ten: No Rest for the Wicked**

The war continued with really no change. Suzie's mood also didn't improve. Richard had kept his promise and never told anyone about Suzie. Missions came and went, and Suzie followed orders without much question.

Everyday, Suzie prayed that her family was alright. She knew that the only way that she could ever see them again was to meet them in heaven. Richard tried his best to cheer her up, but Suzie couldn't get over the fact that she was the last member of the Barnes family who was alive. Everything got worse when the news of Captain America's sacrifice struck the Allies particularly hard. Not only was it tough to lose a strong leader and hero, it was worse to lose a friend. Suzie had locked herself in bathroom for an hour and only came out after Richard told her that she had to come run with the group. Suzie's morale declined as the deaths of her brother and friend mixed in with the already hard conditions of the war.

One day, nearly a year after Bucky's death and Steve's plane crash, the 100th Regiment got a specific order to raid a Nazi base in Russia. Suzie and Richard started to prepare for the raid early that morning. The crisp winter air of mid-December bit at exposed faces, but the sun was shining brightly.

Suzie checked her sniper rifle. She had gotten used to the weight of the gun and hardly went anywhere - outside of camp - without it. The other members of the 100th prized Suzie; she was an essential sniper and everyone was glad that she was a part of the their regiment. Despite her popularity, Suzie mostly kept to herself and only talked with Richard.

The two snipers slung their backpacks on their backs and climbed into the fighter plane.. Other members joined them and the 100th took off.

"I heard that this one is going to be harder than most missions," Richard whispered into Suzie's ear.

"They're only saying that so we try harder. It'll probably be just like any other mission," Suzie replied.

"I hope you're right. I really don't want to get hurt before I can go home," Richard said. Only a few soldiers were allowed to go home during Christmas, and Richard had told Suzie that he was selected to go. He was going to go home and marry his girlfriend, Helen.

"You sure you don't want to come back with me?" Richard asked quietly.

"I wasn't chosen, Richard. I'm not allowed to go home. Besides, where would I go? I don't know what I'm going to do after the war," Suzie muttered.

"You can come back to New Hampshire with me. I bet Helen would love you."

"I wouldn't want to miss your wedding, but I don't think I can just leave."

"Maybe if you ask. I'm sure the general will let you go."

"Yeah, maybe."

The rest of the ride was quiet except for the sound of the engine. Suzie looked out the window and watched as the clouds drifted by. It wasn't the first time she was in a plane, but the excitement was still there. She liked the feeling of flying and how free she felt. Then Suzie remembered that Steve crashed in a plane, and her excitement disappeared.

The plane touched down in an open field a few hours later and the 100th piled out. The building could be seen over the hill, so the group crept slowly towards it. Suzie stayed close to Richard's side as they trudged through the snow. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds, and a slight fog hung in the air.

"Feels creepy, doesn't it?" Suzie asked.

"Just like Russia. All evil and what not," Richard replied.

"Yeah," Suzie said. They had reached the top of the hill. There were trees behind the building and the land was set in the valley of a few mountains. Suzie and Richard laid down on their stomachs, away from the others, and made themselves as small as they could.

Looking through her scope, Suzie watched a watchguard pace back and forth in front of the gate. The other soldiers in the 100th crept forward. A few tanks had joined the group and they waited for the signal to attack.

"Wait for it…" Richard whispered. "Wait for it…"

An American tank shot at the building, causing an explosion.

"Now!" Richard shouted. Suzie and Richard aimed their sniper rifles and shot at the Russians. The enemies fought back. A tank exploded in a shower of fire and debris. A few 100th soldiers made their way inside the fence and slowly gained control of the building.

"It looks like a science-y type building," Suzie commented as she reloaded her gun.

" _Russians_ ," Richard complained. "Always trying to prove their strength."

Suddenly, American soldiers started dropping like flies as someone unseen started raining bullets down on them. Another tank was blown up. The battle quickly shifted toward the Russians.

Static crackled on the radio. "We need reinforcements. All units, come in…."

The two snipers glanced at each other. "Do we go in?" Richard asked.

"I think they want us too." Suzie shrugged.

"Looks risky," Richard said.

"When have we _ever_ not done something just because it's 'risky?'" Suzie asked.

The radio crackled alive again. "All...units...help...back-up...special...enhanced...rein-"

The radio cut off just after a shout was heard.

"I think we should go in now," Suzie suggested, and got up. The fighting had stopped outside the fence. A few shots could be heard every once and while.

"Hey." Richard grabbed Suzie's arm. "Be careful. Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't if you won't."

The two made their way down to the building. A few more soldiers joined them and they snuck in. It started snowing and the wind picked up. Suzie shivered more in nervousness instead of being cold. This mission _was_ harder than the others. Most of the 100th Regiment was either injured or dead. Something was wrong. The Russians were outnumbered _and_ outgunned. Then why was practically everyone dead?

Suzie stepped inside the barbed fence. The building was at least a hundred feet tall and was probably a lot larger than it looked. Nobody alive was outside the building.

Suzie heard Richard take a deep breath. "Are you sure we have to go in _there_?" he asked.

"I think so," Suzie whispered.

Richard glanced around. "I'm not too sure about this…"

"What the hell did you expect when you signed up for the army?" Suzie questioned. Her nerves made her seem rather rude, but she brushed it aside and focused on the mission.

"Something a bit different than this," Richard replied. "What were we supposed to do again?"

"Rescue those we can rescue and try to grab as much information as possible. I bet the United States would love to get their hands on some of the Russians' technology."

"I thought that this was a raid."

"Yeah," Suzie said. "A raid for information. Didn't they tell you?"

Richard shrugged. "Mustn't have been listening."

The two fell silent as they searched the building. Lights flickered above them and small fires burned in every direction. A metal staircase led down to a lower level. The area that the two were in was a large garage containing everything from Jeeps to small fighter jets. A door near the back of the garage led to a hallway filled with small offices and laboratories.

"Maybe we should split up. Cover more ground," Richard suggested.

"This is a raid, not a suicide mission. If we split up, there's a higher chance of dying. I doubt Helen would like that," Suzie said.

"Guess you're right." Richard glanced down the stairs. "So, downstairs or to the evil-doers' labs?"

"Downstairs," Suzie replied. "That's where most of the fighting seems to be coming from."

Richard glanced tentatively down the stairs. He took a deep breath and descended slowly.

"Stay close to me," Richard ordered Suzie.

"Don't worry. I've got your back."

Richard nodded and led the way down. With each step, Suzie anticipated an attack, but none came. Once the duo reached the bottom, Suzie stepped in front of Richard and looked around. It was eerily silent.

"I thought they were fighting down here," Richard whispered.

A groan rang out through the silence. An American soldier lay on the ground, clutching his side.

"Help...me," the soldier said.

Richard dropped down next to him and took off his backpack. He pulled out medical bandages and started wrapping the soldier's bullet wound. Suzie stood scouting the area through her scope. She noticed more soldiers laying on the ground, most of them dead.

"What the actual hell?" Suzie muttered to herself. The downstairs opened up into several large rooms that looked like they were designed for some sort of training. Bullet holes and shattered glass were scattered around with the bodies. It was complete carnage. Someone, or something, had done this. What exactly did the Russians have that could do something like this?

"Come and get me, _bitch_ ," Suzie threatened quietly.

Richard helped the fallen soldier up. "What are we going to do?"

"You go and get him back to the medics. I'll stay here and find more soldiers," Suzie ordered.

"There's no way that I'm leaving you alone! Do you know what's out there?" Richard questioned. The soldier leaning against him groaned.

"You can't leave _him_ here. He needs medical attention as soon as possible. I can handle myself. I'll be fine," Suzie stated stubbornly.

"You could die!" Richard complained.

"Then I'll die protecting my country."

Richard huffed angrily and helped the wounded soldier towards the stairs. "Be careful," he called. "And come back to me."

"I promise," Suzie replied. She watched as Richard and the soldier slowly disappeared upstairs. As soon as they were gone, Suzie's stubborn resolve melted and she took in a shuddering breath. Nerves got to her, but she pushed it down. It was now or never.

Suzie explored the area as quietly as she could. It was quiet, almost too quiet.

"Where are you?" Suzie murmured softly. As far as she knew, she was the only one still living down there.

Then, a flash of metal went by less than an hundred yards in front of Suzie. The flash disappeared behind a stack of crates. Suzie peered through her scope. She couldn't see anything out of the ordinary…

A blow so hard that it knocked her down, hit Suzie square in the back. Suzie yelped in pain and landed hard on her right arm. Her gun was knocked out of her grip. Suzie tried to get back up, but pain made her vision go blurry.

"What the hell?" Suzie grunted. She could barely make out a pair of boots standing in front of her. The person picked up her gun and...snapped it in half.

Suzie struggled to her feet and pulled out her pistol that she kept on her in case of emergencies. She pointed it at the person, but she was shaking so badly that her aim was going to be off if she shot.

"Who are you? What do you want? I'm Riley Barnes of the 100th Regiment of the United States Army, and I'm here to take control of your base. Surrender or I _will_ shoot," Suzie commanded.

The man said something in what Suzie guessed, was Russian. She couldn't see the his face since it was so dark, but something about the man seemed familiar.

"Surrender or I will shoot," Suzie ordered again. The man said nothing. He suddenly charged her and knocked her pistol out of her hand. A cold, metal hand wrapped around her throat. The man slammed her up against the wall and held her there with incredible strength.

Suzie tried to free herself, but the man's metal arm was too strong. She gasped for air and choked out, "Let me go!"

The man stared at her with intense, blue eyes. Blue eyes? Something hit Suzie harder than anything physical could as she recognized the man who was choking her to death. His chocolate brown hair that had grown since the last time she saw him. His familiar facial features. His usually twinkling blue eyes were full of so much anger. She had never seen him look so intense and heartless before in her life.

Suzie took a deep breath to try and calm her racing heart. The pain and agony of seeing him again almost broke her. The man she knew all her life didn't recognize her, but she knew him…

"Bucky?!"

 **Cliffhanger! Yeah, more chapters coming soon. As I keep writing this, I realize that there might be a very happy ending. Oops. :/ My stories just seem to turn out sad. I guess I'm not that good at writing happy or funny stories. Oh well. If you have a question, comment, or concern related to this story, feel free to leave a review. I'm not forcing you to, but I would like to hear what you think about this.**


	12. Chapter 11

**Gotta blame the weather for making me update. I didn't have school today since it's supposed to be around -50 all day, so Snow Day! The craziest part about this week is that it goes from fifty below to around 45 this Saturday. :/ Oh well, enough about the weather in my state and more about the story. There's some action (not a lot since I'm kind of bad at writing action scenes) and some flashbacks from Bucky's point of view. The flashbacks might be a bit disturbing (I didn't go full descriptive mode on it, but Bucky's whole backstory in becoming the Winter Solider is very upsetting if you think about it).**

 **Chapter Eleven: The Great Escapist**

Her vision was turning dark, but she couldn't stop staring at her brother. Bucky was wearing a black outfit that helped him blend in with the environment. Everything about him seemed so familiar but yet so wrong. His left arm was gone, only to be replaced with a silver colored metal arm with a red star on his upper arm. A couple leather belts crossed his chest, and a belt held many weapons.

"Bucky, please," Suzie choked out. She tried prying his fingers from around her throat, but they were too strong. She was running out of options.

Suddenly, Suzie remembered what Bucky told her years ago if she was ever in danger. She remembered that she came home upset because a boy was being mean to her at school. Bucky told her that if he got too physical, then kick him right between the legs. Apparently it hurt if a boy was kicked there.

Suzie gritted her teeth and launched a kick at her brother. Bucky grunted and dropped her. Suzie gasped as welcome air flooded her lungs. She tried to stand up, but Bucky grabbed her arm and twisted it painfully. Suzie cried out and tried to pull herself free. Bucky muttered something in Russian and kicked her legs out from under her.

As she lay on the ground, she saw Bucky pull a pistol out of his belt and aimed it at her.

"Bucky, please! I'm your sister! Remember? I'm Suzannah Lily Barnes. You are James Buchanan Barnes. Our parents are Lacey and Henry Barnes. Travis and Corbin are our brothers. Steve Rogers is your best friend. Bucky, please!" Suzie cried.

Everything seemed to slow down as Bucky's finger rested on the trigger.

"Bucky! Please! I'm your _sister_!"

It became too much, so Suzie squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't believe it. She was going to be murdered by her own _brother..._

A few seconds passed. Then a quiet voice rang out.

"Suzie?"

Suzie opened one eye and stared up in confusion. Bucky lowered his gun and put it back in his belt. He extended a hand and helped Suzie up.

"I-I'm sorry. What are you doing here? What am _I_ doing here? Where are we?" Bucky asked one question right after the next without any time left for Suzie to answer. "I-I almost shot you. Oh gosh, I could've have killed you! I _was_ going to kill you! It was an order, and I-"

Bucky was cut off as Suzie hugged him. "I thought you were dead!"

"I thought I was too," Bucky muttered and hugged her back. "I can't remember anything."

"We'll figure it out later. Right now, we need to leave." Suzie took Bucky's human hand and led him towards the stairs. Bucky glanced around the area.

"I did all of this," Bucky said.

"What?" Suzie asked.

"I did this. I killed all of them. Why did I do that?"

"I don't know, but we can't stay here. It's too dangerous. The Russians might come back."

As if they were called by name, dozens of Russian soldiers poured out of every direction. One soldier shouted something in Russian.

"What are they saying?" Suzie asked.

"They're telling you to step away from me and for me to stand down," Bucky translated. He paused. "When did I learn Russian?"

The soldiers came closer, weapons pointed at the two. Suzie raised her hands in surrender. Bucky copied her. Two men came over as the others surrounded the siblings. Suzie was knocked to her knees. She grunted as she landed.

Bucky gritted his teeth in anger. "Stay down," he ordered Suzie.

"What?"

"Just listen, and don't watch."

Suzie didn't have time to reply as Bucky suddenly lashed out and disarmed the two closest men. Suzie dropped to her stomach and pressed herself to the ground. All the attention was focused on Bucky as he shot several soldiers and knocked a few more to the ground before putting a bullet in their heads.

It was a little less than a few minutes as Bucky somehow managed to disarm and kill all the soldiers. Suzie stared in shock; she had never seen her brother act so violent.

Bucky dropped the gun his was holding and turned to face Suzie. There was hardly a scratch on him. Bucky rushed over and helped her to her feet.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

"Where did you learn how to fight like a ninja?" Suzie questioned.

"I don't know." He glanced around to see if others were coming. "More might come soon. I think someone pulled an alarm. Is there an exit?"

"There's one upstairs. We came in that way." She pointed up near the stairs. "There's a garage, too. We might have to drive back to base."

"Good idea."

The two dashed up the stairs, Bucky in front with his gun at the ready. Suzie followed closely behind, making sure that nobody would sneak up on them.

"What happened to you?" Suzie asked as they climbed into the nearest Jeep.

Bucky tossed his gun onto the dash and started the vehicle. "I don't remember, but I'm sure I don't want to talk about it."

More soldiers appeared, causing Bucky to slam on the gas pedal and speed out of the open garage. The vehicle sped through the snow, kicking up more snow behind them. A few more vehicles followed in close pursuit, but the two were far ahead.

"If we go back to your base, we'll lead them right there. We might have to make a detour." Bucky yanked on the steering wheel and plowed through a snow drift. Suzie clung tightly to her seat as they bounced around.

"Geez, try to leave us in one piece," Suzie complained.

"Would you rather lose your lunch or lose your life?" Bucky questioned and glanced in the rearview mirror at the fast approaching vehicles behind them. "We won't be able to outdrive them. I think there is some small woods down in the valley. The only way to make it through is one foot. We'll lose them there."

Suzie nodded in agreement. "How do you about the woods?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything, alright? So please stop asking me, because I have no freaking clue!" Bucky snapped.

Suzie fell silent. Her brother was obviously suffering with something that she couldn't help fix.

The woods approached as the Jeep pushed through the deep snow. Bucky maneuvered it around the first few trees before it got too dense to drive through.

"End of the non-existent road," Bucky announced and bounded out of the Jeep. Suzie slung her sniper rifle over her shoulder and jumped down. Bucky risked a quick glance over his shoulder and took a deep breath. "We'd better move. And fast."

He led the way, pushing a path through the ankle-high snow. Suzie shivered as the cold wind bit her exposed face.

"We'll outrun them until we lose them, and then we'll find some shelter," Bucky suggested after he noticed that Suzie was cold. He picked up the pace, making sure to lose the Russians. Suzie huffed closely behind. She was glad that all her training paid off; it was hard work enough as it was to keep up with her brother.

They trekked through the woods for nearly an hour before Bucky slowed down his pace. He dropped back next to his sister and kept pace with her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Suzie hugged her jacket closer. "Cold. Tired. Hungry. You?"

"Surprisingly, I feel fine except for this huge memory gap. I can't even remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what the hell I'm doing here!"

"We'll get through this. We'll go back to base camp, and then we can go back to Brooklyn. We won't ever have to pick up a gun again."

"I wish," Bucky muttered, his breath puffing out in the cold air. "I think we lost them, but we better not make a fire; they can track us from the smoke."

"Is there shelter nearby at least?" Suzie asked as she shivered uncontrollably. The wind had picked up and the temperature had dropped significantly since they first arrived on the mission. The trees gave some protection from the wind and snow, but it was meager. Bucky wrapped an arm around his sister in an attempt to share their body heat.

"I don't know. I think there is a cave or something near here." Bucky raised a hand to shield his eyes from the falling snow. He located the cave and led Suzie through the brush to the dark opening. "I've been here before." He stared nervously into the darkness.

"If it bothers you, we can find somewhere else to spend the night," Suzie suggested.

"No, no. It's fine. You're cold. I can handle it," Bucky said and disappeared into the shadows. Suzie quickly joined him under the shelter of the hard rock. It felt nice to be out of the wind, but it was still a bit chilly.

"I'll keep the first watch," Bucky said and positioned himself in between the cave's entrance and his sister. "I doubt they want to hurt me, so as long as they don't know you're here, we should be fine. If something happens, stay back until the coast is clear, then make a break for it. Don't come back for me."

"I'm not leaving you," Suzie said stubbornly.

"They won't hurt me. You, however, are a main target. You are considered a threat to them, and to me. I doubt they will let you out alive if they have a say in it."

"They'll hurt you!"

"No, I'm valuable to them. I'll be safe."

"Safe? Safe?! They turned you into a weapon! You almost killed me! I doubt that you will be ' _safe'_ with the Russians," Suzie huffed angrily. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared sourly into the cave. Bucky deflated and scooted closer to Suzie. He wrapped an arm-his human arm- around her shoulders and hugged her closer. Suzie sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Try and get some sleep," Bucky whispered. Suzie nodded and dozed off almost immediately after. Bucky sat there holding his sister and watching for any sign of the Russians. Flashbacks forced their way into his head, making it hard to focus…

" _Grab my hand!" Steve shouted. Bucky tried to reach for him, but the pipe he was holding onto detached from the train, causing him to plummet to the bottom of the cliff. He briefly heard Steve shout above his screams as the wind rushed past his ears. The feeling of falling was overwhelming. He was going to die!_

 _Bucky tried grabbing onto to anything to slow his descent. He managed to grab a branch from a tree with his left hand, but the momentum of his fall and the sharp branches caused his forearm to break just above the elbow and rip off. Bucky screamed as the pain roared through his body. The amount of pain and blood loss finally made him blackout._

 _He remembered waking up as someone picked him up and dragged him into a truck. The round face of Doctor Zola muttered his name, and peered down at him. The pain of the movement knocked Bucky unconscious again, and he welcomed it since he hated Zola's face anyways._

 _He woke up again strapped down to a table. Everything was numb but he watched as a doctor of sorts sawed off his infected left limb. He couldn't feel it, it was so grotesque that the nausea rolled over him and he passed out._

 _Short, blurry memories flashed in his mind. He remembered finding out that his left arm was replaced with a metal arm. The shock made him angry, and he attacked the closet doctor. Pain and agony of his memories being sorted through and disoriented shook through his body. He was a weapon used by Hydra; designed to kill. A formula similar to the super soldier serum that Steve received was injected into him. Bucky already had some in his body from the first time he was captured by Doctor Zola, which is why he must have survived the fall from the train._

 _Most of his days at the Hydra base was spent in training sessions and in the laboratory. Doctors and officers studied him. He was poked, prodded, and ordered around by Hydra agents. He was used like something less than human; he was inferior to Hydra, but highly important and useful. He wasn't treated verily kindly; any time he messed up he was punished._

 _One day, not too long ago, he was transferred from the Hydra base located who-knows-where to the Russian base that was just a couple miles away from Bucky and Suzie's hide-out. His mission was to protect the valuable information that was stored there and to await the arrival of a high ranking officer._

 _He was a weapon. He remembered as the Americans attacked the base. He remembered being ordered to kill all enemies that entered the building. He didn't care that he shot and killed his fellow soldiers and Americans; he just blindly followed his orders without remorse._

 _He didn't feel guilty for murdering his friends. He obeyed orders without question and listened to his superiors. He was alone, only useful for carrying out missions._

 _He didn't have a name. He was the Asset, the Winter Soldier._

 ** _Next chapter coming soon!_**


	13. Chapter 12

**Happy Valentine's Day! #single There is some action in this chapter, but enjoy!**

 **Chapter Twelve: Caught**

Bucky bolted to his feet, startling Suzie out her sleep. He leaned against the cave's stone wall and tried to control his heavy breathing. Panic and anxiety threatened to overwhelm him as the flashbacks and memories surged through him.

"Bucky?" Suzie said timidly. "What's wrong?" She placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch and whirl around. His eyes were wide with fear. Despite the cold winter air, sweat was pouring down Bucky's face.

"Bucky? Are you okay?" Suzie asked again and stepped closer to comfort him. Bucky winced at the movement and retreated further back into the cave.

"Bucky, please, what's wrong? You're scaring me."

"I'm a murderer," Bucky muttered in reply. "I might hurt you."

"No you won't. You're my brother. You've never hurt me, so you won't now," Suzie stated. She decided not to come closer to Bucky since being in such close proximity to another person seemed to scare him.

"Just go on without me. Go back to your base. I can't come with you. I'm too dangerous."

"No, you're not." Even though she sounded confident, the strange behavior and the events of the past had frighten Suzie to the core. Something was wrong with her brother, and she had no idea how to help him. The traumatized look in his eyes was almost too much to bear. A terrifying thought popped in her head and she tried to push it away, but it stayed put. What if there was no way that Bucky could be fixed? What if he was too far gone- beyond repair and completely out of range for anyone to help? The thought was horrifying, but it grew more and more reasonable as Suzie thought about it.

"We'll get you back to base, and we'll find someone to help you." Suzie tried to sound reassuring, but her doubts made it hard to sound like she was telling the truth.

Bucky shook his head. His metal arm gleamed in the pale morning light. Suzie stared at it, and decided that she hated it as images of Bucky choking her flashed back into her mind. The cold, metal arm was nothing like the warm, comforting arms that hugged Suzie back at Camp Leigh before she departed with the 100th.

"I can't. I had orders to take out the entire 100th Regiment, and leave no witnesses, you included," Bucky said.

"But you didn't. You fought against that order," Suzie pointed out.

"I may have broken whatever they put into me, but I can still feel the urge to carry out that order. If I don't listen to them, they'll hurt me. I can't live like this; knowing that I killed you. You need to leave now, before they find us."

"We're hidden. You said it yourself that we are safe here."

Suzie's hopes were crushed completely as loud crunches of footsteps on the snow rang out in the still air. Bucky shoved Suzie further back into the cave and aimed his gun at the opening.

"I'll distract them. Then you make a run for it if it's safe," Bucky ordered. He didn't wait for a response, and headed out of the cave.

Suzie heard the Russians conversing with Bucky. Bucky responded in his broken Russian dialect. Suzie crept towards the cave opening and peered out. A dozen Russian soldiers had gathered with their guns pointed at Bucky. Bucky had his hands up in surrender was talking to keep them distracted. Even though she was about a hundred yards away from her brother, she could tell that he was nervous; the situation scared him.

Suzie glanced in the opposite direction of Bucky and the soldiers. There was no way that she could make a run for it without being spotted. The best chance she had was to wait from them to leave, but that seemed unlikely. Two soldiers started investigating in the direction of the cave. Suzie ducked back into the cave, and tried to control her steadily increasing anxiety. She heard Bucky call them back, but it was too late- they caught her.

One soldier grabbed on her arm and dragged her out into the clearing. The supposed leader of the dozen questioned Bucky angrily in rapid Russian. Suzie struggled to break free, but the soldier had wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pinning her against him.

Bucky spotted his sister and immediately stepped towards her, but several men raised their guns in one swift movement.

"Please," Bucky switched to English. "Leave her alone."

"And why should we do that?" the supposed leader questioned in English as well. "You disobeyed our order. No witnesses, women and children included. We are a secret society, we don't abide well to those who send us out of the shadows."

"Take me instead," Bucky said suddenly.

"Bucky," Suzie pleaded. The soldier holding her clamped a hand over her mouth, cutting off further cries.

"Please. Just leave her alone. I promise that she won't tell anyone about what happened here. If you let her be, I will come with do; do anything that you want. Just, please, please, let her live," Bucky practically begged.

The leader scoffed. "That is not happening. Although…" he looked at Suzie with interest. "We could use her. Send her through the same program that we sent you. Nobody would suspect a woman to be a spy. Maybe then you won't fight against us. We can build our program, making us powerful in the shadows. And when the time is right, we _strike_! We finish what Schmidt and Zola has started!"

Something snapped in Bucky. He hated what Zola had done to him; there was no way in hell that he was going to allow Suzie to go through the same pain and suffering. Bucky slipped his pistol out of its holster and shot the nearest soldier.

Suzie was tossed to the ground as the other soldiers attacked Bucky. Bucky shot three more before another soldier grabbed Suzie before she could make a run for it. He whipped her around and pressed his gun against Suzie's head.

"Shoot her, or I will!" the soldier ordered Bucky. Bucky froze. It was an order; he couldn't disobey.

But, it was his _sister_. Nevertheless, Bucky raised his right hand and aimed his gun at Suzie.

Tears started streaming down Suzie's face. "Bucky, fight it! I believe in you!"

The gun started shaking in Bucky's hand as his strained to fight against the order to shoot his sister.

"Shoot her!" the Russian leader snapped. "Do it!"

Bucky bit his lip, aimed his gun a little too the left, and...pulled the trigger.

The shot rang out in the still, winter air as the soldier holding Suzie became limp and fell heavily to the ground.

Suzie let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and stepped away from the dead Russian.

Bucky turned angrily to the remaining Russians. "Leave us alone, or I _will_ shoot you too!"

The Russians put up their hands in surrender. Bucky stepped protectively in front of his sister, and with his gun still aimed at the group, he led Suzie back into the forest. He backed out of the clearing a few more yards before he turned and motioned for Suzie to run.

The two ran out of there as fast as their exhausted legs would allow.

 **More chapters coming soon! I know that the end is approaching, and it might not be the happiest ending. :/ I know how I want it to end, but its just hard getting there. Please leave a review! I would love it, especially since all of you who are following and/or favorited me or this story are wonderful people! 3**


	14. Chapter 13

**I just saw Captain Marvel today, and OMG I love it! I'm so excited for Avengers:Endgame! I reconmend seeing Captain Marvel. Despite what the trolls say in their stupid reviews, Captain Marvel is awesome! Whoo! Higher, further, faster, baby! It also happens to be Bucky's 102nd birthday today. Happy Birthday, Bucky!**

 **Anyways, it's been a while. I knew how I wanted to end this story, but it just took a bit of thinking and writing to get there. To be honest, I had originally planned this to be a one-shot but that completely changed.**

 **WARNING: VIOLENCE! I also don't mean to offend anyone. Any portral of characters (mostly just the Russian soldiers in this story) are purely fictional and only based off of the events in Bucky's past in the MCU and WW2 in general.**

 **Chapter Thirteen: Seeing Red**

They ran until Suzie collapsed from exhaustion and Bucky had to carry her until he too couldn't run any further. Bucky's legs gave out from under him, and he and Suzie tumbled into a snow drift. According to Suzie, they were only a couple miles away from the 100th camp.

The two lay breathing heavily as the past few days' events caught up to them. Suzie hugged her jacket closer and slowly sat up. The trees were more spaced out as they got closer to camp, so there wasn't much cover. Suzie stared down the hill; Bucky's footprints had punched holes in the fresh snow. The sun was setting behind them, painting the sky orange and pink. They had ran for several hours at least.

Suzie looked over to her right where Bucky was laying. Frozen tears glistened on his cheeks as reality sunk in.

"What's wrong?" Suzie managed to ask after she caught her breath.

Bucky heaved himself to his feet, and ignoring the question, surveyed the area. "We need to get moving, before they catch up."

Suzie struggled to a sitting position and glanced back down the hill. "Camp is only a couple miles away," she said quietly. "If we head straight back to camp, we might lead the Russians to camp as well."

Bucky sighed. "I hate being out in the open. Camp should have cover, right?" Bucky asked.

"And weapons," Suzie confirmed with a nod. "If anything, we can go on the defense with everyone back at camp, There should be vehicles...and food."

"Good, I'm starving." Bucky checked his gun for ammo and put it back in its holster. "We should get moving." He extended his human hand and helped Suzie to her feet.

They took off in the direction of the camp with renewed energy. It was dark when they arrived. The moon shone brightly, lighting the way. Nobody was awake, except for a couple soldiers keeping watch. Quiet groans could be heard from the makeshift infirmary near the sleeping tents.

Suzie led the way to the tent that she and Richard shared. She opened the flap and stuck her head inside.

"Richard?" she whispered hoarsely and entered. Bucky tapped his foot nervously as he waited for Suzie to wake her friend.

Suzie popped back out and motioned for Bucky to come in. Bucky hesitated, took one last look around, and followed inside.

Richard was awake amongst the piles of clothes, ammo, and blankets.

"What happened, Suzie? It's been _days!_ You've been gone for _days_ and you show up with your brother who was supposedly dead!" Richard tried to keep his voice from rising as he questioned his friend.

"I know, but I'm back now. We need a place to lay low for cover, but we can't stay long. The Russians will probably find us, so we need to move base camp away from here," Suzie said.

"Move base camp? Russians? Suzie, what the hell is going on?" Richard stood up and turned on the lantern that was hanging from a rod at the top of the tent.

"We believe we might have been followed. We barely escaped from that Russian base. How many of the 100th are left?" Suzie asked.

"Not many. Hardly anyone who can hold their own in a fight. If we were attacked right now, we'd be wiped out."

"Not necessarily. I know a lot of inside intel," Bucky spoke up.

Richard stared at him with a confused expression on his face. "So you faked your death so you could spy on the Russians?"

Bucky glared. "I wish it was like that," he said ominously causing Richard to shiver nervously.

"Well, um….okay...wow…" Richard squinted at Bucky's face and then turned to Suzie. "You two look at lot more alike than I originally thought."

Suzie glanced at her oldest brother and shrugged. "I guess so, but that's not the point."

"Yeah. Right." Richard scratched the back of his head. "We're shipping out tomorrow, so if we survive the night we can just go back to America."

"I thought that only those who were chosen were allowed to go home for Christmas?" Suzie asked.

"With so many little of us left, the General decided that everyone was allowed to leave and regroup after Christmas. He said he needed some time alone to come up with a better plan," Richard explained.

"Since when did the Army decide that soldiers could go home during the middle of a world war?" Buck questioned from his corner. "We never retreated."

"Yeah, but you weren't just massacred in a terrible, one-sided battle. It's not retreat, we're regrouping so that next time we attack an unsuspecting base, we won't be killed!" Richard cross his arms in front of his chest bitterly and huffed. Bucky remained quiet.

"Bucky, it's probably a good idea. We can't stay here. Let's go home, where it's safe," Suzie grabbed Bucky's hand gently.

"The war is not over; we can't just bail out on it!" Bucky protested, but allowed Suzie to lead him over to where Richard had his sleeping cot set up.

"I know, but you've been through a lot; we all have. Maybe a break is what we need."

Bucky relented and laid down, exhaustion taking over him. Suzie helped Richard set up two more cots and fell asleep before their heads hit the lumpy pillows.

The first shot rang out right as the sun was starting to rise in the east. An alarm woke everyone up in camp.

Bucky was up before Richard and Suzie were. He instinctively reach for his gun and was about to head out of the tent when Suzie stopped him.

"Wait," Suzie said. She was blocking the tent's entrance and had both hands on Bucky's chest to stop him from moving forward. "You just can't blindly rush out there in the midst of battle. I already had to deal with losing you twice; I can't handle losing you again!"

"Sis, I'll be fine." Bucky pushed past his sister and dashed out the tent. Richard got up just in time to grab Suzie by the hand and yank her back into the tent.

Suzie spun around angrily and glared at her friend. Richard held up his hands in mock surrender and shrugged. "I'm not going to let both of you die, alright! Besides, you didn't have you gun. It's kind of stupid to run into battle without a weapon to defend yourself." Richard held out Suzie's sniper rifle in his right hand, his own gun in the other. Suzie snatched it out of his hand and checked to make sure it was loaded.

"How many do you think are out there?" Richard asked and risked a glance outside.

"Sounds like a lot, but we _are_ returning fire," Suzie replied.

Richard let out a sigh and turned back to Suzie. "Ready to fight one last fight before I get to go home to Helen?"

"Yeah, but don't get hurt. I doubt Helen would kiss you if your face got even more deformed," Suzie retorted playfully and dashed outside. Richard huffed in annoyance at the tease and followed closely behind.

The camp was in ruins. A small fire had started at the regiment's ammunition storage unit, leaving them with limited supplies. The infirmary was on the verge of collapse. The medics were trying to move the injured to a safer place. The few soldiers who were healthy had set up their defense and were firing back at the amassed Russian force. Suzie was rather far away, but she thought that there were at least a hundred Russian soldiers trying to get Bucky back by all means necessary.

Suzie ducked behind a stack of crates and set up her gun in between a space n the metal. She quickly got to work firing at the attackers. Richard set up next to her, and together they shot as many enemies as they could.

"I gotta say, we're probably the saddest disappointment for an Army unit in American history. I mean, the 100th got everyone's hopes up and ultimately let them down!" Richard shouted over the bullets whispering over their heads.

"Sorry to be such a disappointment," Suzie replied and shot a soldier who was getting uncomfortably close to their explosive supply.

The battle waged on. The 100th was severely outnumbered, but they weren't outgunned. Bucky was doing most of the heavy lifting. When he wasn't in the middle of the Russian forces, he was somewhere hidden sniping the enemies. He moved around so quickly and so often that it was hard for the Russians to get a hand on him.

However, Bucky couldn't last forever. Bullets soon ran out, adrenaline faded, and the 100th was losing soldiers. Soon, only Bucky, Suzie, and Richard remained. All the others were too injured to contribute or too dead to move.

Bucky suddenly appeared behind Suzie and Richard. Richard had ran out of bullets minutes before and was helping Suzie scope out targets. The sudden tap on their shoulders startle both of them, so much so that Richard dropped his gun and would have screamed if Bucky hadn't placed his hand over his mouth.

"We need to go. Now!" Bucky ordered. The two younger snipers ran after Bucky, neither of the them dared to look back. Richard caught up to Bucky and pointed in the direction of the sea where a ship to take them back to America was sure to be waiting. They sprinted through the trees that surrounded the camp and led down to the ship harbor.

A root from the ground reached up and pulled Suzie to the ground. She spread her hands out in front of her in an attempt to stop her fall, her gun flying from her hands. A loud snap was heard as Suzie's right wrist broke when she landed hard on it. She cried out as the pain shot through her.

Rough hands suddenly pulled her up by the back of her collar. Suzie grunted and cradled her broken wrist in her left hand. She noticed Richard and Bucky standing frozen in shock a few feet in front of her. Bucky's gun was raised slightly and he bit his bottom lip nervously. She glanced back at the large hands that gripped her and saw a tall Russian soldier with a pistol in his hand glaring at Richard and Bucky.

"Now, we can do this the hard way or the easy way," the Russian soldier ordered in broken English.

"What's the easy way?" Richard asked, his finger hovering over the trigger on his sniper rifle.

""Everyone comes with me and nobody gets hurt," the soldier replied.

"How about I go with you and you let my friends go," Bucky suggested angrily.

"Tsk, tsk, _soldat_ , we know that you have broken through your programming. This is not how you are supposed to be acting."

"I'm not _programed_ to do anything that you say," Bucky said defiantly. "I don't take orders from you. Let them go, and maybe I'll consider going with you willingly."

The soldier thought for a moment. He knew that he was outnumbered and outgunned, but a wicked idea formed in his mind. Back up was coming, but they were still several minutes out; he had to stall.

"I have orders to bring you in, with no witnesses. _The Winter Soldier_ program is a secret; nobody is supposed to know about it. I'm sure you will understand my orders." The soldier raised his gun and fired at Richard. Bucky moved quickly and pushed him out of the way, the bullet hitting his metal arm and falling to the ground harmlessly.

"Go on," Bucky whispered to Richard. "Get out of here. I'll handle this."

"What about Suzie?" Richard asked. "I'm not leaving without her!"

"We'll be fine. Just go! You won't be any help to us dead! And if we don't come back in the next hour, just leave. Leave this cursed place."

Richard glanced back to Suzie sadly and took off through the thick brush down to sea. He hated leaving his friend behind, yet, there was a better chance of them surviving if he brought backup from the ship.

Back in the forest, Bucky glared angrily at opposing soldier. A crunch in the snow warned him that others were coming to back the Russian up. He didn't know how many there were and he didn't want to risk Suzie getting hurt, so he stayed still.

"Come now, _soldat_. Follow your orders and come back to base with us." The gun in the soldier's hand was now rested firmly against the side of Suzie's head.

"You should know what happened last time someone tried to hurt my sister. Everyone ended up dead. I don't think you want to risk that now, do you?" Bucky questioned, his icy blue glare stared resentfully at the soldier.

"This time we have you surrounded."

"That happened last time too," Suzie pointed out. The pistol was pushed further against her head, causing her to emit a small hiss of pain and fear.

"Silence, _girl!_ " the soldier growled. "Another word from you and I shall blow your brains out!" Suzie clamped her mouth firmly shut; she didn't want to risk the chance that he would follow through with his threat.

"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Bucky snapped.

"I can do whatever I please. You, however, are stalling. This argument is getting nowhere, so I suggest you comply if you don't want to see the inside of your sister's head."

"You can't make me do anything."

Snow started falling and the wind picked up, which was almost an ominous sign. Two more Russian soldiers stepped out from behind the trees and joined the first soldier. One was holding a small, red book. One glance at it get Bucky a giant knot in his stomach. It suddenly became a challenge to breath.

"Confident that you will triumph over us, _soldat?_ " The newest soldier without the book grinned savagely. "Doctor Zola programmed you with a fail safe, just in case you managed to escape us. We can make sure that things don't end up bloody if you listen to us."

"What do you plan on doing to her?" Bucky motioned towards Suzie. She was pale white in fear and was cradling her broken wrist. All energy had seemed to be drained from her as a strong arm across her chest kept her hostage. It was the second time in a few days that she was being held as a hostage, and it was clear that she didn't like it.

"We were planning on turning her into another Winter Soldier, but now we might not be so sure. I'm sure that Doctor Zola would love to have matching assassins at his command, but since both of you insist on being difficult, maybe we'll just keep her for our personal entertainment," the third soldier remarked with dark intentions in his eyes.

That had done it. Any threat to Suzie was hard enough, but this had not only crossed the line - it had completely wiped the line from existence. Bucky made to reach for his pistol so that he could fill the Russians' heads with lead, but a sharp word in Russian cut him off from proceeding…

" _Longing,"_ the soldier with the book said in Russian.

Bucky froze at first.

" _Rusted. Furnace. Daybreak…"_

A piercing headache split through Bucky's head. He collapsed to his knees, his hands pressed up against his head in an attempt to either soothe his headache or to block out the words. Suzie saw his distress. His screams struck right to her heart. With a sudden burst of energy, Suzie elbowed her captive in the stomach and gave him a sharp uppercut to the jaw. Keeping in mind her broken wrist, she tackled the soldier with the book, drew her pocket knife that she kept on her in case of emergencies, and sunk it deep into his chest. The third soldier tried to grab her from behind, but she sliced sideways and he fell with blood gushing from his throat. A loud bang suddenly broke through the air, stopping everyone in their tracks.

Steam from the end of the first soldier's gun curled upward into the air. Bucky had barely lifted his head in time to see Suzie go limp, her knife fall slip from her fingers, and collapse in heap.

"NOOOO!" Bucky screamed. He regained his focus and lunged at the soldier who shot his sister. He knocked the gun out of his hands and punched the soldier so hard that his metal arm traveled straight through his chest. Bucky yanked his now bloody arm out and watched the soldier fall to the ground before turning to drop next to his sister.

Suzie's face was frozen in shock, her light blue eyes stared straight up. Her expression chilled Bucky more than cryofreeze ever could. Bucky cradled her head in his arms, his human hand softly over the bleeding hole in the back of her head.

"No, Suzie, no!" Bucky cried. He hugged her close, placing her head on his shoulder. He cried into her shoulder, their same colored hair blended together as one. "No! Those bastards, I'll-"

" _Sputnik,"_ a voice called out. Bucky's eyes glazed over, his limbs going stiff. He fell backwards, unconscious. Suzie slipped out of his grasp as two Russian soldiers who were hidden in the trees dragged Bucky away from the scene. More soldiers came and picked up the three dead Russians, but they left Suzie behind.

Snow was falling softly as the sun began to set on the earth and Suzie's life. In no time at all, nothing could be seen except for darkness.

 **I know, I'm sorry! I had Suzie's death in mind when I came up with the idea for this story. I wanted it to be reasonable and fit in with why Bucky's siblings were never mentioned in the MCU. I am writing an epilogue to wrap up any loose ends, so be on the look out for that. Please tell me what you think and/or feel by leaving a review. I know I might sound repetitive, but any support is greatly appreciated and it makes me feel better as a writer to hear feedback.**


	15. Epilogue

**This is the last part. I am not planning on a sequel for this. Thank you to all the support and reviews! I got a review asking me about Bucky's time with the army. I had written that he was in the army for seven years, but I realized that America didn't join the war until a little later. I fixed that, but if there is anything else that doesn't make sense, leave a review or PM me.**

 **Epilogue: Dreams and Nightmares**

Richard wanted to go back. He hated leaving his friend behind, but Bucky was scary and he didn't want to make him mad. As soon as Richard arrived on the beach, however, the American soldiers led him on board. Richard tried to explain to them that they had to help, but the ship had already left, with Richard on it. Regret overwhelmed Richard and he jumped off the side of the ship. His right leg had ended up being shot in the calf when he tried to run for help, but Richard just tied a bandanna around it to stop the bleeding. He pushed down the overwhelming sensation of pain as he climbed over the railing, despite the shouts and orders to stop. Richard hit the water hard, the cold immediately setting in, but he focused at the shoreline which was so close. He had only swam a few feet before he slowly started sinking as he started to go numb. His limbs ended up freezing to a point where he couldn't move anymore and he was pulled back onto to the boat before he drowned. Richard knew deep down that it was too late and he would never see Suzie again. He ended up spending the entire trip back to America hiding in the boiler room thinking and crying.

The war ended soon enough, the Allies won, people were freed, America celebrated but Richard moped around at home with his newly-wed wife, Helen.

Richard never went back to the army. He stayed home with Helen and remodeled their home in Greenland, New Hampshire. Helen gave birth to twin girls, whom Richard named Suzie and Riley after his friend. A boy was born two years later, and he was named James after Suzie's brother. Richard made sure to tell the story of the girl soldier who defied the odds of their time to fight for her country to his children. Richard and Helen grew old, but Richard never forgot Suzie and her acts of bravery. He had always said that she was the bravest person he had ever known.

Bucky continued suffering. The shock of losing his sister had made it harder for Hydra to control him. Scientists tried and failed to get him to comply. The anger at Hydra for killing his sister caused Bucky to fight harder than ever against Hydra. However, he couldn't fight it forever as the technology and experiments improved. After twenty years, Bucky finally broke. A week later, he was sent out on his first mission since that fateful day in 1944 at the Russian base.

He was credited with over two dozen kills, but there were a lot more that were known only by Hydra and in Bucky's subconscious.

DC was in flames as shrapnel fell from the sky. Water soaked Bucky through to the bones and his broken arm flared in pain. Bucky stared down at his friend's face. Steve's eyes were closed. Bucky waited until he saw Steve take a breath before leaving him on the beach. He couldn't stay there, the government and Hydra was probably in hot pursuit of him, but Bucky took a quick detour to the Brooklyn cemetery. His feet carried him swiftly while his mind wandered.

Despite the chaos that was going on in DC, the cemetery was quiet. Birds were chirped in the trees that were planted around the cemetery. Rows of gray headstones stood out against the green grass. Bucky wandered down the paved pathway to a secluded corner. He stopped at a familiar headstone. The double headstone read:

 _Henry William Barnes: "A loving father and husband." 1876-1928,_

 _Lacey Elizabeth Barnes: "A loving mother and wife." 1875-1944._

Bucky stared sadly at the headstone. He bent down to pick out some weeds that had grown around the base, being careful not to jostle his broken arm a whole lot. Two more headstones rested to the left of the larger one, right where Suzie said where they would be. Bucky read them silently:

 _Travis Edward Barnes: "A loving brother, son, and friend." 1923-1944_

 _Corbin Bartholomew Barnes: "A loving brother, son, and friend." 1928-1944_

Bucky stood up and pushed his hair out of his eyes as he took a deep breath. He was still getting used to the feeling of breathing in fresh air without that stupid muzzle blocking his air intake. Every sense of his outfit made Bucky feel like he was being controlled, but he hated the muzzle the most since it restrained his talking. He was a naturally outgoing kid, and he loved to talk. But Hydra didn't like when he talked without being ordered to. If he said anything that wasn't asked for, there would be punishments. Bucky ended up spending most of his time with Hydra in his head, but even that was taken away from him as other sought to gain access to his memories and thoughts. He was glad that he could think clearly again, but the memories of what he did was overwhelming. A small lump formed in his throat as guilt mixed in with his already confused blend of emotions.

"I'm sorry, dad. I failed," Bucky whispered quietly, his gaze directed towards his father's name. "I tried to be the man of the family, but I failed. I couldn't protect them. They're dead because I wasn't strong enough. I hurt people, dad. I _killed_ people. I went against everything I believed in. I'm a failure. I hurt _Suzie._ I hurt _Steve._ I failed as a friend and brother. I don't know what to do."

Tears gathered in Bucky's eyes, and he wiped them away. "I'm sorry…"

Sirens in the distance cut Bucky off. He whipped around and glanced nervously. Nobody else was in the cemetery, which would be considered strange if there wasn't an attack in D.C. Bucky decided that he didn't want to stay in America- it was too dangerous.

He would have to figure things out on his own. The 21st century was a complete culture shock to Bucky, but at least he was a quick learner. Maybe he would find a large city; it was easier to disappear. Eventually he would have to face Steve again and apologize. Deep down, he was grateful that Steve was alive; he was the only one who Bucky knew.

But not yet. Bucky had to find his sister. He knew it was a risk to go back to Russia, but he wouldn't stay long. He only wanted to give Suzie a proper burial.

Although history never knew her name, Suzie would live on in Bucky's memory. He was determined to remember and never forget his fearless little sister who defied all the odds and proved that a girl was just as capable of defended her country as well as any man ever could.

 **Thank you reading this! It really makes me feel appreciated, especially when people leave a review. I've got more stories coming soon! Until then, see ya later! :)**


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